The World

It is ugly

It is scary

It is full of hatred

It is the world.

Look closely

You'll see

So much sorrows

So much pain

So much evil

It is the world

Everyday

Tragedy rules

In the headlines

In people's lives

In people's heart

In this world.

And yet

they have turned away

from the ultimate joy

the ultimate One

Full of love

that could save

This world.

It is so clear

It is so certain

We need more

of this love

to beautify lives

In this world.

Still

People made their hearts

Into stones

and then complain

about the tragedies

When they

Could have make

a BIG difference.

This

is the world.

So come

brothers and sisters

Let us strive

to be prayer warriors

So this infinite love

Can give endless hope

that counters evil.

It may be exhausting

And costly

BUT

this is the world.

Hepi CNY to y'all!

The poem, which sadly is not even a lousy poem (I'm not born a poet!Pls forgive me for that), was inspired by a discovery of an ugly truth :)

I just found out this morning that my house was suppose to be my neighbour's house...ermm, you see, my house is a corner/side house with empty land by the side. So next to my house is another house with a strip of empty land, it is the beginning of another stretch of houses.

When my parents paid deposit for this house which they purchased13 years ago (or longer than that), they actually paid for these two side houses. Right now, I am living in one side house, but my grandma is living in the house next to mine now, the second house in this stretch of houses, not the other side house which my parents had paid the deposit for.

It was only now that I found out that my neighbour did some 'dirty work' which was probably a bribe, to get that side house which my parents had paid deposit for.

Wow, this world is really ugly. And my neighbours are really difficult to love. They are wonderful examples of 'this world', so ugly, so sorrowful, so terrible. This is only one example of the evil things they did...and there's a long, long list of sich things they did. I will never look at them the same way as I did.

And yet, I have to love them, hoping that one day they will repent for their wrongdoings and sins. It id difficult...but the Lord's love keep me going.

Brothers and sisters, do keep each other in our prayers...because there are so many people like this in this world.

Victim of Prejudice

My landlady hates me.
Everything I do in her eyes is wrong. She'll confront me alone even if other housemates did the same thing as me. She depises me just because I have a large circle of wonderful friends. She accuses me for being evil, and asked me why I cannot be like other housemates who were according to her good because they do not bring friends to the house. Yes, those were her words.

But other housemates have brought their friends to the house, not once but many times. And she knew it. Why only bombard me?
Clearly, she has prejudices against me.
...for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me... Psalm 109:2

She calls me a socially promiscuous girl. She sees me as chastised... for the friends I have.

She hates Malays and Indians for no reason, well, at least she couldn't give me one reason when I asked her why. And just because a friend, Indian/Malay, comes to my place for tuition and help in her studies once or twice a week, she hates me. The problem clearly lies with her, not me. So much for 'perpaduan'.

She accused me for being 'bu san bu si' (having chaotic lifestlye) because, according to her, I bring all sorts of friends to the house. Until today, only AiChing, Joy, my tuition friend, Mandy and a junior came to the house before. The tuition friend had only needed academic help, so was my junior who only came once yesterday. Mandy only sat in my room for 10 minutes while she waited for me to pack to go back to hometown because she was giving me a ride to the jetty. And my landlady said "That day you some more brought an aunty home". Joy, came only twice, for prayer, less than 15 minutes, and to collect the stuff for the CF BBQ. AiChing, she only came to change so we could go for our evening walks along Gurney.

Only 5 persons...and she said that I am 'bu san bu si'.
...With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. In return for my friendship they accuse me... Psalm 109: 3-4.

Besides for my friends, she also despised me in other things, things that other housemate did as well. But she only confronted me. She should have lay down the restrictions and regulations when I moved in, not now. Or perhaps she should list down her love's and hate's (the list would probably only have endless hate's). She calls me evil....for being kind to my friends. Oh, I want to hate her so much!! But I won't.

I pray to the Lord to remove her prejudices, and also to remove the anger in me towards her prejudice against me. I know there's no need to hate her, because the Lord will deal with her.
...when they attack they will be put to shame, but your servant will rejoice. Psalm 109: 28.

Yes, through all these struggles I have been blessed. With more wonderful friends added to my already large circle of wonderful friends, who let me see my worth, and let me know they love me. Thank you God. Thank you Xiao Yue, Joy ;) and TY.

MeowinG-PineApple

A guy in college

whose name I do not know of

starting meowing to me

since yesterday

in the library

for no reason!

Since then

he kept meowing at me

whenever he sees me

in college.

And he has pineapple pattern hair.

Weird 'The Look's

So many things we do will cause others to give us a look, a weird look.
They look at us as though they have never seen a human, or an alien from another planet, or simple some crazy-nutty-weirdo to them.

Just like this morning (in fact almost every morning now), Jonathan and Hazwani, and many new students in college who I don't know, gave me the look when me and Joy were praying in the car. I can't help wondering what is their thought when they gave us that look.... haha, it's probably 'Look at those holy girls again.' or 'Yer...what are they doing?'

Here's a list of some of the things I did that resulted in someone giving me the look:

- when I started laughing by myself when I am alone after a funny thought crossed my mind
- when I stared at somebody for too long
- saying HI to a stranger
- acting nuts in public
- jumping around
- looking at two person talking to each other in the library
- smiling for no reason
- asking a friend an abrupt unrelated question
- crying in public
- talking to a stranger whom I thought was a friend

If you have faced different or funny situations like this, do post a comment and share the story ;)

Golden Globe Thanksgiving

It is now time for me to say thank you to many people...although I did not win any Golden Globe or whatsoever :) These people have opened my eyes and touched my heart to see and feel something that majes this life so much more beautiful. And I truly feel ashamed that I haven't been loving them :(

Nevertheless, here it goes:

My aunt - when I was back in my hometown for a week, my aunt bought breakfast for me every morning even without me asking. And she didn't ask for a cent back.

My grandmother - everytime I see her, I want to cry. I am sure you would too. She's in critical serious stage of osteoperosis, and yet she gathers her strength to cook my favourite dishes and nutritious soups for me when I am back in my hometown. Oh God, I pray really hard that He will save her.

My lovely family - my parents and brothers, and cousins made me realised that I am one of the luckiest person in this world. Without them, what would I be??

My wonderful close friends - thank you for reminding me that God is always near, and that the rainbow is always the most beautiful thing, and sunsets will not be what they are without you all, the CDs you lent me, the 1 cents you gave me and everything else. I love y'all...

My not-so-close friends - thank you for smiling at me or smiling back at me when I smile at you.

TY - all those times you have to bear with my imperfections. Thank you for your patience, although I know you have very little of it :)

Eveyone else - thank you for giving me the opprtunity to share my love, joy, and chocolate with you.

All those perasan and seemingly incorrigible people out there - without you all, I will have one thing less to work on towards knowing God. Thank you being a challenge.

Good luck to you all.

The Value of 1 Cent

I started collecting 1 cents since a very young age. At that time, I didn't really appreciate why I did so. I began after hearing a story about how a guy in some country far far away became a millionaire from collecting 1 cents. It seems quite an inspiration to me back then...but eventually, as I got older, I collect 1 cents out of habit instead of out of desperation to be a millionaire ;)

For more than 8 years in my 22 years of life, I just collected 1 cents which I got from the change I received at the cashier counter, from my friends...or from places where I found them lying on the floor...unwanted.

But after so many years, I began to see no point of collecting 1 cents. After so many years of collection, I calculated the other day, that I only managed to save RM20.00 (more or less) of 1 cents. I began to lose the zeal to collect 1 cents....until....

A friend who visited Myanmar a few months ago told me many interesting stories about the country and the people there. The things that intrigues me the most is their poverty. They work 30days a month only to earn from 38 cents to RM 3.80 (not the rich ones). It was a clear situation of 'the rich is getting richer but the poor is getting poorer'. However, despite their poverty, these people are so happy and lived a purposeful life!

It made me realise how much a piece of bronze metal weighing less than 5g can mean so much...and so many of us are casting them away, leaving them lying on the street when it could be used to help these people live a better life. All we need is 38 1 cents.... and I already got plenty of them :)

Value your 1 cents...if you don't want them, give them to me. I will go Myanmar this year...well, even if I didn't, my 1 cents would :)

Me and Lizard

When you are disgusted about something, like people digging gold (nostrils) in public especially in luxurious cars, or when you fear something more... they seem to appeal to you more, and happens often in your daily life. Am I right?

For example, the more you are afraid of spiders, the more encounters you will have with them.

This was the relationship, or perhaps you can call it fate, with lizards.

The first time a lizard ever lay its four tiny-sticky legs on my skin was when I was 10. I was attending training for gymnastics at a hall in Taiping. And there are so many lizards there. Once I wanted to throw some trash into the dustbin and the moment I lifted the lid of the bin up, a lizard, HUGE lizard, climbed onto my hand which was holding the lid. I screamed for my life and threw the lid on the floor, swung my hand until it almost came off. Thank God, the lizard fell and scatterred off to its next hiding place.

The second encounter I had with a lizard, at the very same hall, was in the toilet. The moment I stepped into the cubicle, a lizard, HUGE one again, climbed onto my right leg and again, I sreamed for my life and hopped and jumped around like a chimpanzee until it fell off from my leg.

The third time a lizard climbed onto me was around 1 or 2 years ago. I can't recall the details so I will not dwell in it. Nevertheless, in my room right now, a lizard, yes, it is a HUGE one, seems to be living there together with me and my roommate. Perhaps it has been there even before we moved in. So this roommate of mine always run across my room to go to the other room next to mine. This, amazingly, happens every day. It's like a routine. Funny....

I even stepped on lizard eggs before..and believe it or not, I crushed a lizards head before, with my bare heel. Yuck! I only heard a cracking sound. And when I turned and looked onto the floor, there is was, flatten...at the head.

Just yesterday, I had another encounter with lizards again. I wanted to take water to fill my pail with water. The moment I grabbed the senduk, a lizard, not so huge this time, climbed onto my right hand. Arrghhh!!!...hehe, nuh, this time I didn't scream. I just swung my hand like the first time until the lizard fell, carried on my business.

Sometimes, I wonder if the lizards have a conspiracy against me....or maybe they have plotted a spying mission on me. Of course....I'm not nuts enough to confirm that this was what they are doing to me :)

Nevertheless, I shall overcome my disgust and fear for lizards. So I will not encounter them again....well, at least not so often.

Death Omen? Nuh...

To someone superstitious, the sight of a dead cat in front of the house gate will make that person's day.

Although I am not suprstitious, I will still share this story.

Two days ago, as I was stepping out of my house to go to college in my usual beautiful morning walk, I saw a dead cat in front of my house... right in front of my house. A few crows were flying over it, chewing and nibbling at the cat... well, dead cat. The head and body were flatten until I can't tll which was which. Only its 4 legs were left 'undisturbed'. Surprisingly, there wasn't a lot of blood, but there were a lot of flesh!

On th same day, in th evening when I was walking along Gurney Drive with AiChing in our quest for a fitter body (which I failed to achieve despite so many months of 'effort'), we came across a dead dolphin. It was right opposite of Gurney Plaza, lying there motionless on the beach. 3 boys climbed down and got a really close look at it. The moment one of them suggsted touching it, all of them got disgusted at the thought of it and left. The tongue was sticking out, and its intestines were all over the place around the body. There was a long stick, wood I think, that pierced its stomach right above the hole where all the intestines came out from. Now there was a lot of blood. And it stinks like hell!

The creepy thing was, 5 minutes before me and AiChing reached the place where the dead dolphine was at, we saw a tree full of crows. And they are known as relatives of death. 5 minutes later we saw the dead dolphin.

Yesterday morning, when Parvin and I wer walking to the corner shop near my place to get breakfast before we attend a study workshop, we saw a dead rat. It is quite common in my area, as there are abundance of rats there. But it was quite disgusting. Not much blood, but lots of flesh again.

Death could be creepy... and when you saw what happens to these dead animals, you could imagine how tragic it was. But in th end, death is not so scary afterall.. cos I know, I will be at a better place. Much better :)

Hope I didn't spoil your apetite.

Wish U weRe tHere.

I am sure each and every of us had had experiences where we wished someone was there to share them with us. These are the moments you realised that there are so many beautiful things or creations in this world that are worth cherishing. These are the moments you realised that life is beautiful because you have loved.

Here are some of those 'moments' that I can remember:

1. Watching the sunset (it was only the sun and th horizon of th sea, no clouds, no island, no hills to block the sun) in PD trip with Lian, Mike, Chok Wei, Cindy, Alyssa, Goik, Kim Tat

2. Admiring the uncountable number or stars on the clear, black, velvet sky at the IPG CF BBG at Marina Bay. This was the first time in my 21 years of life to see so many stars.

3. Witnessing the formation of an whole, complete arch of rainbow right in front of me outside of McD's Sunrise. This was th first time in my life to see a whole arch of rainbow, so huge, and clear, each and every colour...

4. Feeling the soft cool breeze through my fingers early in the morning an Gurney Drive beside one of the trees, standing on one of the rocks...with my eyes closed.

5. Watching fireworks when there was some celebration.

6. Tasting the smooth, sweet, delicious chocolate, chocolate or cheese cake...or sushi...or ice-cream. Savouring evrery bit of the moment.

7. Laughing earnestly, laughing my lungs out at a really stupid joke when hanging out with friends or when watching a movie.

8. Walking along the beach, walking along a street, walking anywhere...alone. Wishing you were there to enjoy the walk...or sweat ;P

9. Playing in the rain and going nuts in it.

10. Looking out the window at the things that pass by when I am sitting in someone else's car, on the way to somewhere for something.

Wish u were there....

Chocoholic's Must Watch's

Last year was an amazing year for the film industry for Miss Chocoholic with great movies like Constant Gardener, Harry Potter 4, Zorro 2, Chicken Little, etc.

2006 is another year full of excitement for Miss Chocoholic, who anticipates to watch these movies... I can't wait!!

Here's Chocoholic's-Can't-Wait-To-Watch-Movies:

movies from last year which I'd love to watch
Cheaper By Dozen 2
Family Stone
Brokeback Mountain
Casanova

From 2006(first half)
Oliver Twist
Fearless
Munich
Ice Age 2
North Country
Nanny McPhee
The Inside Man
She's the Man
Freedomland
X-Men 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Underworld 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Good Woman
Manderlay
Ultraviolet
A Scanner Darkly
Transamerica

Anybody want to join me?

Heart Broken but Pocket Saved

Arrghhh!!!! Sob sob... I went back to the shop in Gurney Plaza yesterday and the dress is gone!! Arrghhh!!!!
Somebody lucky got the dress d...sob sob. The pain in my heart is like a heavy stone landed on it, scattered..no, more like smashed into pulp. It was the most beautiful dress I have ever seen in my life!

Ok, that's it. I am not getting any new year clothes this year!

I don't regret not getting the dress. Well, at least I saved RM 189.00 ;)