Disney Sunset

Disney Sunset
Disney Sunset


Dad, You Are So Right.

Yesterday, I came too close to Death. He got his hands on me, and I smelled him wherever I go.

You're so stupid! He whispered.
Gosh, you are sooooo ugly. He jeered.
No one will accept you. He scoffed at me.
You will be alone forever. He shouted.
You won't be able to stand the pain. He commented.
Just end it, give up! He exclaimed.
You're disgusting. He insulted.
What a blunder you've made, tsk tsk tsk. He said.
You are so weak. He pointed out.
You're a total failure. He sneaked.

This is a real battle. I know my Saviour is fighting it with me, and for me.

'Jesus! Where are you?!!!' I cried out loud, only to be responded with stillness... and silence.
Then, Death kept quiet too. Dad must have shut him up. I thought... He was right by my side, and I asked "Why do I have to go through so many heartbreaks while others can have happily-ever-after stories? This excruciating pain is too much!"

Dad looked at me with the most tender eyes, with a glint of hurt in them, and asked "Do you trust me?"

Guilty! I sighed, "Sorry, I do..."

He pursed his lips, then said "I've got greater plans for you. Being comfortable won't get you anywhere. This part of you must die for more of me to come into you. Even when you walked through the valley of shadow of death, be it your own death or not, I will be with you. My rod and my staff shall comfort you."

...and most shockingly, He said "You are precious to me. And I AM RAVISHED by your beauty." I rolled my eyes and thought "Yeah, if there is any!"

"Don't see yourself as ugly just because they all end up with prettier ones. You must see how I see you. Would you rather someone like you for your good looks, or you would rather have someone like you for looking like ME inside?Appearence is of no value to me."

Gosh, Dad heard my thoughts :P
Sigh, Dad...You are so right.

"And stop crying already. The car beside you will get into an accident because the driver is looking at you crying." And yes, she was looking at me.

Ooops... :P


Walk Away.

Every cut to it
Every pain it took
From the words you said
From the things you did
Brick by brick
Piled up around my heart
Little did I know
That walls have been built around my heart

Tearing them down
Was not easy
I had to face the fears
I had to take chances
I might get hurt again
Or never love again
But in the end
His grace helped me through

My heart is now open
Waiting for His appointment
Knowing for sure
That His plan is so that I prosper
Then you came and said
Mistakes were what you made
You wanted 2nd chance
And tell me that I'm the one

What's the point?
She was what you wanted
She was who you chose
Just after a couple of days you said
That you want me to be the only one
Sorry to say
It's now too late
I found my completeness, I am now whole

Even though they say
'Why are you so cruel?'
But I am so secured
I will not be fooled
I can't complete you
I can't quench your thirst
It MUST be His unconditional love
You get complete first

It's not easy now
For me to say this
But I must walk away
I will walk away


:) :-) (",)


A smile is infectious. Yes, it does funny things to my mind, sending me all the warm, fuzzy signals, melting my heart just slightly so my heartbeat remains normal.

A stranger old Indian lady smiled back at me yesterday morning. It triggered a whole train of thoughts, inevitably leading me back to the Creator of the world and 'smile's.

The cutest part was she wished me 'Good morning' in her sweet small voice when she walked pass me! Aww...she looked at me and I looked right into her eyes during that milisecond of verbal exchange. And I smiled even wider to her...and watched her give me a tiny nod. I looked at her until she walked out of sight, hunching a little.

This was my thought:
Truly, behind all those signs of age and physical deterioration, there can be immense beauty that touches the depths of one's heart. She was SO BEAUTIFUL.

That's the sort of beauty that touches souls. She reminded me of how God can be there caring for me even in the midst of trials and pain. She was a tiny reflection of who He is - SO BEAUTIFUL.

I can see rest in her eyes, hear strength in her voice, and feel God in her smile. That smile made such a huge difference to my day...and she was just a stranger.



Love Note No.5

Proper Correction

Trying to figure out how to correct a child is a difficult, but a brilliant story was told to me by the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi as an example of how it is best done.

Gandhi was born in South Africa, and after his university training, he went to India to lead the struggle against British colonialism. He had every intention of returning to South Africa to lead the struggle against apartheid, but sadly, as we all know, he was assassinated before he could do that. Gandhi's son took up his father's commitment to end apartheid, and so the family returned to South Africa to work toward that end.

His grandson Arun Gandhi told me that one day his father asked him to drive him to a meeting in Johannesburg.

"My father asked me to drop off the automobile at the repair garage and then be back at five o'clock to pick him up," he said.

The grandson went on to say,

"I dropped my father off for his meeting and got the car to the garage by one. Since it was a long time until five o'clock, I figured I could go to the movies, which I did. That day there was a double feature being shown, and when I got out I checked my watch and realised that it was past five o'clock!

"I rushed to the corner where my father had said he would be waiting for me, and when I saw him there, standing in the rain, I tried to think of excuses I could make. I rushed up to him and said,
"Father, you must forgive me. It is taking them longer to repair the automobile than I thought it would take, but if you wait here I will go and get the car. It should be ready by now."

"My father bowed his head and looked downward. He stood for a long moment and then he said, "When you were not here at our meeting time I called the garage to see why you were late. They told me the automobile was ready at three o'clock! Now I have to give some thought as to how I have failed, so as to have a son who would lie to his own father. I will have to think about this. So I am going to walk home and use the time during my walk to meditate on this question."

Arun Gandhi said,

"I followed my elderly father home that rainy, misty night, watching him stagger along the muddy road. I rode behind him with headlights of the car flashing ahead of his steps. And as I watched him stumbling toward home, I beat on the steering wheel and said over and over,
"I will never lie again!
I will never lie again!
I will never lie again!

It was obvious that this was a way of correcting a child that did not involve punishing the child directly, but showed the child how much hurt a parent feels when a child does what is wrong.

Love Note No. 4

"Do You Really Love Me?"

I will always remember what an old man told me. He said, before you close your eyes to meet the maker, significant moments of your life resurface in your mind. I am now moments away from my own execution, and I cannot help but remember the eventful day when I walked on the beach for the last time with my friends and my mentor.

We talked about "Love".

Love. I thought I knew what that meant. I believed I had it all sorted out - attraction to another woman, attention to children, even allegiance to my nation, my people, my religion. It was energizing, it captured my imagination, I was on fire...I was on the right side.

When we first met on the beach, he said to me, "Come and follow me." My life was never the same again. We walked the dusty roads of Palestine together. I began to see the terror of love more than the terror of hate.

He opened blind eyes.
He touched the untouchable.
He threw parties for prostitutes.
He played with children on the streets.
He was different, he spoke of a different way of loving.
He was love in action.
He was my friend.
I loved him.

But then one say everything went down the drain. He was arrested; my mentor. He became a threat to the powers. When he needed me most, when I could have stood up to be counted, when it mattered most - I failed. I screwed up. I denied him. Not once, not twice - three times!

I denied him three times.

But he saw it coming. I thought I would die for him - I told him I'd die for him.

But at the end, he died for me.

So when he came back, (yes, he came back from the dead), I couldn't ask for a second chance. No, surely that was too much to ask! I had already stepped onto the 'wrong' side. I betrayed my friend. I shattered the love between us.

We were walking on the beach when he asked,

"Do you love me?"

Do I love him?
What am I supposed to say?
Did I love him as a friend?
...but I had betrayed him.
Did I love him as a mentor?
...but I had denied him.
But did I love him?

I answered, "Yes". Perhaps, I could still love him with conditions and more realistic limits.

He answered,
"Go feed the hungry, and love people..."

He didn't stop. He asked again,
"Do you love me?"

I thought I could get away with the first answer. But there was no escape to his gentle piercing voice. It cut through my heart. I dug deep. Even though I had messed up, I still loved him and with whatever little I had left within me - maybe, I could still squeeze something out.

"Yes" I replied.

"Go and feed the hungry, and love people along the way..."

"Do you love me?"

He asked once more.

My mind crashed. My heart crumbled. I had nothing left to say...Did I love him unconditionally? Did I at least want to love him unconditionally? Could I still love him after failing more than once? Should I even dare to love him and do what he asked me to do, even after messing-up the way I did? Why isn't his love conditional? Why doesn't he lay out a new set of requirements for someone like me?

I knew I had nothing to hide from him - I was a wreck.
I was in pieces. I was a coward.
I was nobody. I had nothing.
I was nothing.
I thought I knew what love was.
The truth is - I didn't.
The truth is, I still don't.
At least not in the way he did.

He loved me unconditionally. His tears washed away my shame. His voice healed my soul. He cleared my guilt with just one look. His words picked me up. His questions didn't condemn me, instead, they put me back together again.

So I could still follow him a second time. So I could have a second chance. Was I to take it?

"Go and feed the hungry, and love people along the way...and you will be taken to places you don't want to go."

My life was no longer my own. Unconditional love changes you that way. It changes what you are attracted to. It directs what you pay attention to. It realigns who and what you give your allegiance to. Unconditional love breaks into pieces all the false securities I once held on to, put me together again, and showed me the road to true freedom, hope and courage.

I will breathe my last breath soon. Yet, I feel peace. I will meet him in a while. I walked away from our last stroll on the beach a new man. The years after that turned out to be the best years of my life. I can truly say now, I know to some measure what he meant by 'love' - unconditional love. Like him this new man was arrested to be crucified, and yet, I am still unworthy to die in the same way as my friend and master. This old man in me will die with no regret for saying "Yes" to his unconditional love and "Yes" to his call to "Go and feed the hungry, love people along the way."

I can truly say now - "Yes, I do love him". Because, once upon a time, when he asked,

"Do you love me?"
it was just his way of saying,
"I love you unconditionally, Peter".

Love Note No. 3

Love is what makes you smile when you are tired. - said a 4 year old

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. - said a 7 year old

Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imginable. - said Gandhi

Love is an act of endless forgiveness. A tender look which becomes a habit. - said Peter Ustinov

Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less. - said Will Moss

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - said Frank A. Clerk

Love is a choice we make because we see a cause greater than ourselves, and that cause is this _ LOVE. - said Sin Yee (hehe)

Love Note No. 2

Rachel lives in The Pit - the messiest street in town where hopelessness and brokenness lurk in every corner. Rachel is always in rags, with dirt on her hands and face, and Fears and Failures were her shoes. Rachel is the 'reject', violated countless times, and don't see any worth in herself anymore.

HE is the royal prince, an heir to the kingdom above kingdoms whom his father loves. He is the most handsome man alive, strong and courageous. Daring and pure. Wisest among the princes, and totally a hunk all women scatter after :) He always wear Joy as his shirt, Hope as his pants, and Love as his shoes. His favourite hat, which he puts on everyday, is Compassion. Despite of all the women scattering after him, he was looking for someone who can fit into his heart perfectly.

Rachel and him are worlds apart in every single way. Yet...

He found her in The Pits while taking a stroll on purpose. Driven by Compassion, He rescued her and rode on his white glorious horse with Rachel to his beautiful kingdom. He cleaned her, got her new clothes, and cared for her. Since then he never left her side.

So many looked at Rachel with disgust in their eyes, some with much disapproval. When Rachel and him walk together, they asked aloud as if on purpose 'How did they end up together?', 'What is a prince like him doing with a reject like her?' Each time this happened, he would tighten his arm around her shoulder even when Rachel wanted to break loose from it due to shame. She would try harder at being perfect for him, but would fail miserably each time she tried.

One day, he looked Rachel straight in her eyes with such fiery and said in his tender, piercing voice, "Stop trying. Just let me be strong for you." Rachel was flabbergasted. But deep down inside, she knew that he was the strength she needed.

The truth is Rachel never dreamt of this. No one ever looked at her, what more take an interest in her. But she knew this to be true - He saw something in her that nobody else could see. He made a pair of sneakers, Faithfulness and Goodness, and found her to be the one who fitted them perfectly. Fears and Failures were burnt to ashes in the fire. He wanted her to walk and even run on Faithfulness and Goodness. He didn't care what others would say, because to him it was all worth it. And Rachel, knowing that she's the wimpiest and weakest person she has ever known herself, was desperate for that strength.

Rachel chose to let him be strong for her. It the midst of opposition and trials, it was his love that kept her strong. Rachel only had to look down at her shoes, and she would run faster and better each time after she tripped. He made his promises firm for her. His unwavering love he kept purposely for her.

Rachel will never forget what he said...

"Let me be strong for you."

Rachel is so glad she made that choice - to let him be strong for her instead of trying to be stong herself. She is so so glad. The strength he offered was what made her COMPLETE.

Love Note No. 1

The best comedian in the whole wide world...
The best physician in the whole wide world...
The best musician and composer in the whole wide world...
The best painter and artist in the whole wide world...
The best architect and events manager in the whole wide world...
The most DARING and attractive man alive...
The manliest man and most passionate person in the whole wide world...
The most tender-hearted person in the whole wide world...
The revealer of all mysteries...

...chose to love me
...chose to uncover himself for me
...chose me.

*Thud* Sin Yee fainted.

Someone please call the ambulance :P


You've got SMS!

What do you do with the SMS's in your phone?

Do you:
A) Store them all in your inbox until you have to delete some to make space for new ones? OR
B) Delete them all after you have read them and replied to the sender? OR
C) Save only the nice, touching, funny, cool, inspirational, encouraging or important ones and delete the rest?

I receive an average of 4 SMS's a day. So that's 28 SMS's a week, 112 SMS's a month 1,344 SMS's a year! That figure excludes the floodgate of SMS's coming in during festive seasons and birthday. If only I can keep all of them... But what's the point, right?


Few years ago, I was still using Nokia 2210 and I can only store up to 20 SMS's (or was it 10) in my inbox. I took an idea from a friend who suggested that I get a notebook to jot down all the nice SMS's I received so that I can make space for new ones. Brilliant! I did do that, but only for the SMS's from my ex. There were altogether three notebooks full of SMS's from him. Thank goodness I lost them all and have absolutely no idea where they are now. I can't even remember any of the SMS's written down in those notebooks, which I truly thank God for :P

I no longer jot down any nice SMS's I received, though I save some in my inbox for a period of time until I think I can delete it. So I skimmed through the ones I have now and here are a few which I like (please don't mind the SMS language):

1. One day the villagers decided to pray for rain...On the day of prayer everyone gathered, only i boy came with an umbrella...That's CONFIDENCE...When you throw a 1 year old baby in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him...That's TRUST...Every night, we go to bed, we're not sure that we'll get up tomorrow. but we still have many plans for the coming day...That's HOPE...Have confidence in prayer, trust in God and never lose hope...These are boosters of FAITH... (Sender: Stephanie Kew)

2. Hv u eva xperiencd joy dt made u cry?News dt kept u speechles?Favor u neva merited?Xpect al thes & mor as u go in2 2oo9. Hapi new year (Sender: Anonymous)

3. I no longer recall whether knowing u is like a rainy day or a sunny day, but I just remember that feeling is like the bright sun rays, and soaking of a heart that's never been soaked before. I don't know how much further the journey is, but I do know that no matter how long it has been, our friendship doesn't change (Sender: Ramesh, translated into English from Chinese)

Some SMS's are life-changing. Don't underestimate the power of it, haha.
Hope you receive a nice one today!