Disney Sunset

Disney Sunset
Disney Sunset


I don't blame her.

For the first time in this' blog's history, I am going to blog about someone from my family (psst...I hope me memory didn't fail me on my blog's postings!).

That person is..... my mom.

She was given the task of preparing a proposal letter on behalf of the Pandu Puteri of Malaysia to have more funds for the upcoming activities. She was not informed of when the deadline will be. So she kept it in view. Apparently, the deadline was supposed to be right before a VIM -very important meeting - that Pandu Puteri will have with a minister.

Tonight, my mom received a call from one of her colleagues who asked her whether she had prepared the letter because the meeting is TONIGHT! If they called her a few hours before this, she could have finished typing the letter and emailing it to them.

I guess by now, the meeting is already over... and the letter? There was no letter.

My mom kinda blamed herself for not preparing the letter and causing the Pandu Puteri to have less funds for their activities. But I told her that it wasn't her fault. Well, I don't blame her.

Poor mom. Hope she listens to me and will not blame herself for this.


Swept Away

I am finally back from the Social Work Exposure and Embracement Program a.k.a SWEEP. Strangely, for the past two weeks, I didn't feel tired or emotionally drained but at the moment I left the camp, all the fatigue accumulated in the past two weeks fell on me... physically, mentally and emotionally.

Despite the exhaustion, which I hope I have recovered from after a long day of sleep :P (yeah, now you know my secret...I'm such a pig!!hehe.) , I am spiritually refreshed. I learned more than I ever did in just two weeks compared to my 3 years of study in legal school! Well, at least for practical stuff lah... It just goes to prove that life is bigger than I thought it was, and I am glad I discovered this now :)

Duing this SWEEP, I became a SWEEP-er, but ironically, I was the one that was swept away. On each of the 14 days, I felt emotions and had thoughts that I never had in my almost 22 years of seemingly 'big' life.

My hatred and anger towards the society and the world's slimy wickedness, and my utter disgust of the twisted systems meant for oppression disguised as systems for justice, together with all the heartbreaking stories and sufferring caused by the sufferrings of the needy I met, not forgetting the backbreaking experience of reaching out, all formed the fierce waves in the sea that had swept me away to another place I had never been before in my spiritual life.

Sounds scary? Haha, sorry if I misled you. Actually, it wasn't that bad after all to be swept away in this sea because an inexplicably wonderful relationship was formed in these 2 weeks between me and the people that I came to know.

As I was reaching out in any way I can, be it just bringing a glass of water or chitchat-ing about a particular guy in the group that we think is cute, I realised that the reaching out on my part was nothing compared to the valuable lessons and things that I got from them. Without realising it, I, the one who was supposed to be reaching out, became the recipient in the relationship.

So I worked out the ratio and found out that these people... the drug addicts, criminal convicts, sex workers, HIV positive, the abused, the migrant workers, the mentally and physically challenged, the poor, single moms... have left such a deep impact in my life NOT because they were reaching out to me, BUT because I reached out to them. If by just knowing them and talking to them and helping them can leave such an impact in my life, imagine what impact I can leave on the lives of these people by just a simple gesture of care and love.

So, back to my seemingly scary and creepy sea, as I said, it wasn't that bad to be swept away in it because each new day, each new hour, each new minute, represents a new hope which is an element I found in this sea. Another thing that overshadowed the 'darkness' of the sea was the power of God's love.

It is amazing.

I will never forget the transformation driven by this sacred love in the lives of some of these people I have met...
an ex-drug addict who now has more charisma and energy than Napoleon Bonaparte
an ex-Ah Long who now has more compassion for the poor living on the streets in Chow Kit than anyone I have ever met (notice that I stressed on 'met' meaning people I see and know, not one like Mother Theresa who I had never seen)
a transsexual earning RM 3K steadily in an established firm working as a MAN living by Christ's love
a mentally challenged friend who played badminton with me and advised me really wisely on some pressing matters in my life
an abused 9 year old girl who puts trust in God's love and wanting to move on and let go of her horrifying past
the prison guards who love the convicts so much that they never carry any weapon with them when they enter their cells

He led me into this sea, a sea so ugly yet full of hope, to be swept away by it only to find that I was being led to another place, another special place, not by the torments of the evil waves but by the tucks of grace made by His hands. It's not about doing, but being.