Disney Sunset

Disney Sunset
Disney Sunset

24.8.06

2gather-gather.

One Sunday morning...a simple, sunny, ordinary Sunday morning, was all that was necessary for God to touch my heart. How amazing is He!

This happenned last year, but I only remembered the work He has done that day on me on my way to KL in a bus.

That Sunday, as I stood in church worshipping the Lord and singing songs of praise together with the congregation of brothers and sisters in Christ, I saw something that touched my heart.

I forgot what the exact title of the song but I recalled it was about 'unity'. As I opened my eyes, already wet with tears, after singing the chorus, I could only shed more tears at what I saw.

Right in front of me two couples, if I remembered them correctly, they were brother Lai Seng and wife, and brother Richard and wife, worshipping the Lord in unity...they were holding each of their spouse's hand, singing at the top of their lungs.

What touched me was not their love for one another, but their love for God together. It is this togetherness that truly stuck with me since that day until now. And I will never ever forget what I saw that very Sunday morning.

22.8.06

Purple Cameron.





My trip to the Cameron Highlands yesterday with my family was wonderful. It has taught me to value and allowed me to see more of the beauty of God's creation and how amazingly beautiful He is. It was a tiring trip but I loved it very much!

I can't help but think of AiChing when I am there because of her favourite colour, yes, purple. Each destination we stopped at has something purple. In the cactus point alone, there were purple flowers, purple horse, and purple vase. Hehe.

AiChing, I miss you.

5.8.06

He is...

He is
a good friend
who listens
who shares
who helps
who cares

He is
a good son
who's responsible
who obeys
who'll be with his family
on special days

He is
a good boyfriend
who keeps me warm
who holds me
who makes me smile
so my fears will flee

He is
a good man
who loves
who cherishes
who appreciates
who wishes

He is
a good man
a child of God

He is
but he
doesn't know God
Matthew 18:3-4
Jesus said,"...I tell you the truth, unles you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of God. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

We know that it is important to be childlike in our lives, not childish. Being childish means persistence in remaining in self-indulgence, to insist on enjoying privileges without responsibilities. You can definitely see this anyday. Just look at how a child insists on his parents buying him a toy without second thoughts about his responsibilities and throwing a trantum when he doesn't get what he wants.

Many times, we adults act childishly whether you admit it or not. We abhor losing control in our lives and so we hold on to our plans and whatever we have tightly because we hate the feeling of losing control. But seriously, let me ask you a question: What is so bad about losing control?

The passage from Matthew above shows clearly how many adults, like myself, forget how to trust God more readily. We also unlearn on being humble. Spending last Monday night together with my 4 year old cousin reminded me of this.

Me, my cousin and Teng Yung, together with my family, went out for dinner. My cousin followed me and Teng Yung in Teng Yung's car. She was so afraid of Teng Yung because he was a stranger, and she was so shy around him. But with me, it was like she knew I was her friend since the day she was born and she liked hanging out with me very much.

The moment we got down from his car, my cousin held my hand as we walked towards the restaurant. Teng Yung was walking on the other side of her. And then I just said to my cousin, "Why don't you hold Ko-Ko's hand?"

She looked at me, and then stretched out her left hand to be held by Teng Yung, without complaining, or arguing, or hesitation. I was surprised. She was already holding my hand on the other side, and she did not even dare go near Teng Yung for the past 2 days!

Her act showed me the kind of childlikeness that we should possess as children of God. My cousin seemed to recognise and trust me more readily without rationalising away her need for love and care. She just understands deeply, and simply, that she needs love from me. This was obviously not taught to her. It is in her since the day God created her, because He created us in His image (Genesis 1:27) i.e. God is love (1 John 4:8).

So if you find yourself too uptight about life, or that you seemed to be getting nowhere, take a break. Get low, be humble, and be childlike, and, like how my cousin trusted me, trust in God.

God bless!

2.8.06

Today's prescription.

Patients want their doctors to prescribe them something to heal their illnesses.
Pink sang in her song 'Don't Let Me Get Me' so doctor won't you please prescribe me something for being in the life of someone else, don't let me get me.

Patients knew, with their illnesses, they could count on the doctor.

I have my illnesses too, spiritually. And so I counted on God, the ultimate physician and doctor, because Jesus came for the sick. Yeah, I am sick in many ways people don't see. But I myself, and of course the Father who created me, know better.

I have been disappointed again and again in life, not only by the people around me and those I love, but also by myself. I question, 'Why do I feel so wrong?' It's like I am living, but I am not doing it right. Each day I meet people, be in their lives, and reach out to others. But I still feel so wrong.

This feeling troubled me for days. There exists this void in me that is there because of something. And it is this something that I need to find out. I prayed to God that He will help me get out of this mess that I got myself into. Yeah, I feel exactly that way.. that my life is so messed up because of my own doings.

Thank God for anwering my prayer as I turned to Colossians 3.
Colossians 3
1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

He hit the right button! I felt so wrong because my focus was wrong. I did all the reaching out and living each day with the thought of helping and loving them. This doing is right, but I was doing it without the right foundation for all these doings - that I seek those things which are above. My wrong focus had also cost me the trust some of my friends and loved ones used to have in me. They accused me for doing things just because I want to buy them into Christianity. This is a warning sign that I have to open my eyse bigger to see what I missed.

Focus. That is it.

If our focus is wrong, not on things aobve, we will reach out to others with an impression to them that we are just like those direct-selling organisations, wanting to expand. Oh how wrong we are! How wrong I was! I was so caught up with the desire to have my loved ones saved that I reached out without truly loving, without the right focus.

Sometimes we reach out to others only because we want them saved. It's good intentions, but it is still wrong. Jesus asked us to LOVE. So fellow brothers and sisters, just LOVE. One day, the seeds of love that we have planted in these people's hearts will lead them to Him. I was led to God by that :)

1.8.06

Birthday lesson.

Oh darn, I am so ashamed of myself.

Yesterday, Teng Yung insisted on seeing my photos instead of my stamps collection. I hesitantly pulled out the photo albums one by one and guided him through the photos again. He had seen it before, and wanted to see it again.

So, we started from one album that consists of my primary school year photos..and then to one with my baby pics. Apparently, my face didn't change since the age of 4 :P This was what Teng Yung say, but I am not sure if I agree :)

Anyway, we came across a few photos of my birthday parties. When I looked at the photos, I saw a table full of food - french fries, sausages, watermelon cut into small pieces, red eggs, fried bee hoon and of course, a big birthday cake right in the middle of the pile of food on the table. I was amazed at the strength of the table!

The other thing I noticed besides the food, hehe, in the photos, were the friends that stood by my side, who sang birthday song and were willing to be in the photos with me. I regretted not keeping in touch with some of them.

But as I looked into these photos, the thing that I remembered most, well, not exactly thing, more like persons, were my parents.

Looking at these photos brought back flashes of memories which comprise moments I saw my parents busy cleaning up and preparing in the kitchen, rushing in and out of it, to prepare the food and make sure everything is OK. They even did the invitation where I was supposed to do it because it was my birthdays after all. They were exhausted at my birthday parties. Very stressed out in fact. I remembered hearing them complain: "Have party, so ma farn!" But they still did it for me, not once, but many times.

I can't help but feel a sense of guilt in me as I look at these photos and think back to those times... my parents have given so much to me. They ensured I have the best childhood. And I did.

And then I tried to recollect if I did anything for them. Anything... haha, guess what? I can't think of any at all.

I am such a spoilt brat. My parents are giving me so much and all I do is ask for more.

Thank God I realised... although it may be too late. So, now, in one of the transitions in life I am going through now, I know, in my walk with God, where one of my commitment shall be in. My wonderful, loving, superb, parents.