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Chocolate vs Sex

Judges : Lord Cadbury LC, Lord Lindts, Lord Hersheys, Lord Guylians and Lord Sneakers MR.

Case title : Ferero Roche v. Kinder Bueno (2005) HoL AER 5 448

Facts: On 15th July, 2005, the appellant and respondent were having a double chocolate milk shake at Chocolate Lover's, Cocoa Street, Confectionary District, when the disputed issue arose. The respondent allegedly claimed that there's nothing that can replace the ever sinful SEX in this world today. The applicant, being a chocolate addict, disagreed with the respondent. Both parties ended up in an unsweetened fudge fight, and the dispute was brought to court.

Their Lordships held unanimously that:
Chocolate is better than sex.

Their ratio decidendi were:

  1. You can GET chocolate.
  2. "If you love me, you'll swallow" has real meaning with chocolate.
  3. Chocolate satisfies, even when it's gone soft.
  4. You can safely have chocolate while driving.
  5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  6. You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
  7. If you bite the nuts too hard chocolate doesn't mind.
  8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
  9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare chocolate.
  10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
  11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
  12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
  13. With chocolate there's never any need to fake it.
  14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
  15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
  16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
  17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
  18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
  19. When you have chocolate late at night it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
  20. With chocolate, size doesn't matter and it's always great.

Chocolate rules!!! hehe

1 comment:

  1. Wah.. I really did not expect such blog from you... hehehe... let me defend the poor sex side then...

    Well, once you are done with choc, you are done. You can't get 4 or 5 rounds in one night.

    You can't smack the choc and talk dirty. It makes you looked pathetic.

    You can't lick the choc all over, and leave them to dry out.. to go another round??

    It would look really weird if you try to ride it... hahahaha...

    You can't snuggle and try to manja your way through the choc.

    It does not have feeling.. so, you can't make demands after the intimacy.

    You can't french kiss your choc. Nope, you can't.

    I said, you can't.