On 7th August, 2008, I celebrated my 24th year on the Earth (the only planet in the galaxy that has chocolates I presume). It was suppose to be a day of rejoicing & cheering for my existence but yet, I had one concern that is more serious than the huge-volcanic pimple on my face on this day that I should feel perfect just being myself... even after spending 12,441,600 minutes spinning in the orbit around the sun, I was still imperfect.
Whether it was...
- looks (e.g. if only Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba were real plain Jane's like me)
- character (e.g. too nice, too loyal, and in the end became a doormat)
- career (e.g. I'll never make it with my blur-ness. I am not sharp as the Samurai sword)
- finance (e.g. arghh! Why did I get that piece of junk?Now I don't even have money to eat)
- family (e.g. I never seemed to be there for them when they needed me)
- friends (e.g. [can't think of anything as example :P])
- ministry (uhuh!)
- you name it
... imperfection was all I felt. And I felt it to the core of me.
Am I really that miserable? 'NO', Jesus said, softly yet powerfully, in John 9:1-5 on this very special day in my life.
"No one is born perfect, just like the man in this passage. He was born blind but Jesus said the reason was "so that the works of God might be displayed in him". God made me exactly as He has wonderfully planned. He made me perfectly with my unique imperfections so that through His fire that removes them, His magical work in me may be seen. As imperfect as I am, in God's eyes I am perfectly imperfect - my imperfections are turning points for His glory that surpasses all perfections in me to truly shine." - abstract from Life Journal dated 7/8/2008.
Him changing my sight to see that I am perfectly imperfect, and making me so secure even in my imperfections.
That's REAL magic ;)
Disney Sunset
Disney Sunset
18.12.08
15.12.08
Snowman, O Snowman, where art thou?
Has this ever occurred to you?
We hear songs that sing of snowman everywhere we go in this Christmas season. Just this morning the music shop opposite my office was blasting one :)
But we are in Malaysia, a tropical country that only has sunshine and rain (and sometimes rainbow). We don't even have snow here. The only snowman I met is Mr. Picture Snowman or Mr. Plastic Snowman.
I wonder if there is any equivalent to a snowman here in Malaysia. Would it be rainman? The carrot or orange cone won't stick. Would it be iceman? Definitely won't last an hour. Hmmm.... I really wonder...
Where is the snowman? :-S
We hear songs that sing of snowman everywhere we go in this Christmas season. Just this morning the music shop opposite my office was blasting one :)
But we are in Malaysia, a tropical country that only has sunshine and rain (and sometimes rainbow). We don't even have snow here. The only snowman I met is Mr. Picture Snowman or Mr. Plastic Snowman.
I wonder if there is any equivalent to a snowman here in Malaysia. Would it be rainman? The carrot or orange cone won't stick. Would it be iceman? Definitely won't last an hour. Hmmm.... I really wonder...
Where is the snowman? :-S
6.12.08
Roller Coaster
(Inspired (if you consider it inspiration) by Corkscrew at Genting Outdoor Theme Park)
Small voice inside: Stop. Pause. Just look at what's happened in your life for the past 12 months.
Me: It's been a crazy roller coaster ride with impact and speed that almost threw me off the ride and left bruises all over! Ouch!
Small voice inside: How crazy? Really...
Me: There were loops at unexpected spots and the sharp corners totally jerked all my insides out of me :( But then again... no matter how crazy, it comes to a halt on even level in the end.
Small voice inside: So was it scary?
Me: Hmm, yeah, at first! But when the ride ended, I was glad the ride took me through scary loops and corners. They brought thrills that make the ride and every single scream worth while :P Plus...without those scary parts and the fact that I went through them all, I won't be encouraged to take the ride again, or even better, take more scary rides that guarantee more fun ;)
Small voice inside: Were you experiencing the thrills of the ride at every moment?
Me: Sigh...No :(
Small voice inside: Why not?
Me: That's cos I was thinking about something else at some moments instead of just surrendering to the ride and wherever it will take me to.
Small voice inside: What was in your mind then?
Me: Please don't laugh... I was thinking 'What if something goes wrong with the structure?", "What if there was technical problem with it?", "What if a bolt or a gear was loosened?", "Will the ride fly-off from the rail?", "What if I never make it alive?" (HAHA)
Small voice inside: So if you hadn't think about all that, would the ride be any different to you?
Me: Oh definitely! I would have enjoyed it even more :) I guess if I hadn't worry so much about what would happen or be so bogged down by work, to-do's, tasks, deadlines, or fear that life would go so wrong for me, 2008 would have been so much better. The ride would have been more fun!
Small voice inside: Any regrets?
Me: Nuh... the past is the past. There's nothing I can change about that. But...with what I've learned, I can change the way I face the roller coaster rides that are to come :)
Small voice inside: Hey, you did say life in 2008 left bruises all over ya. Do they still hurt now?
Me: Hmm...now that you mention it...you know what? They are all gone and I didn't even notice it :D Wohoo!!
Just Me: Life is a roller coaster ride if you live it, not just do it. And trust me, it will be a damn cool ride if you surrender to the thrill.
DISCLAIMER: Sorry if this post is boring to you. It's a result of not blogging for ages. Please pardon me ;)
LIVE life, don't DO it.
God bless.
Small voice inside: Stop. Pause. Just look at what's happened in your life for the past 12 months.
Me: It's been a crazy roller coaster ride with impact and speed that almost threw me off the ride and left bruises all over! Ouch!
Small voice inside: How crazy? Really...
Me: There were loops at unexpected spots and the sharp corners totally jerked all my insides out of me :( But then again... no matter how crazy, it comes to a halt on even level in the end.
Small voice inside: So was it scary?
Me: Hmm, yeah, at first! But when the ride ended, I was glad the ride took me through scary loops and corners. They brought thrills that make the ride and every single scream worth while :P Plus...without those scary parts and the fact that I went through them all, I won't be encouraged to take the ride again, or even better, take more scary rides that guarantee more fun ;)
Small voice inside: Were you experiencing the thrills of the ride at every moment?
Me: Sigh...No :(
Small voice inside: Why not?
Me: That's cos I was thinking about something else at some moments instead of just surrendering to the ride and wherever it will take me to.
Small voice inside: What was in your mind then?
Me: Please don't laugh... I was thinking 'What if something goes wrong with the structure?", "What if there was technical problem with it?", "What if a bolt or a gear was loosened?", "Will the ride fly-off from the rail?", "What if I never make it alive?" (HAHA)
Small voice inside: So if you hadn't think about all that, would the ride be any different to you?
Me: Oh definitely! I would have enjoyed it even more :) I guess if I hadn't worry so much about what would happen or be so bogged down by work, to-do's, tasks, deadlines, or fear that life would go so wrong for me, 2008 would have been so much better. The ride would have been more fun!
Small voice inside: Any regrets?
Me: Nuh... the past is the past. There's nothing I can change about that. But...with what I've learned, I can change the way I face the roller coaster rides that are to come :)
Small voice inside: Hey, you did say life in 2008 left bruises all over ya. Do they still hurt now?
Me: Hmm...now that you mention it...you know what? They are all gone and I didn't even notice it :D Wohoo!!
Just Me: Life is a roller coaster ride if you live it, not just do it. And trust me, it will be a damn cool ride if you surrender to the thrill.
DISCLAIMER: Sorry if this post is boring to you. It's a result of not blogging for ages. Please pardon me ;)
LIVE life, don't DO it.
God bless.
5.9.08
The Unknowns
In mathematics in school, we learn how to solve equations with unknowns in them, mostly labelled as x,y,z or a,b,c. Somehow or rather, shifting the unknowns to other positions in the equations will help us discover what that unknown is.
The equation with unknown is like life. The only difference is, in equations, you can only have that many number of unknowns or otherwise it's an invalid equation. In life, on the other hand, there are unknown number of unknowns, but life isn't invalid :)
I became astonishingly aware of life's unknowns during college. Don't ask me why I didn't see them earlier. I just didn't!
The unknowns are: passing my exams, waking up the next day, sufficient finance to last for the week, food on the table for the next meal, meeting a new friend, touching someone's life, breaking up with my boyfriend at that time, etc etc.
It's been 2 years since college, the unknowns only increase and the more I tried to reposition them to discover the unknowns, the more unknowns enter my life. It's a never-ending story...
But you know what? The unknowns are what makes life more beautiful and interesting. I thank God I don't wake up to a life knowing all the things that will happen in the next 24 hours or next 30 days. And I thank God that the unknowns forced me to seek Him even more, which makes life soooooo much more bearable.
I do have more unknowns now. They drive me nuts sometimes, but they make life beautiful ;)
God bless y'all
The equation with unknown is like life. The only difference is, in equations, you can only have that many number of unknowns or otherwise it's an invalid equation. In life, on the other hand, there are unknown number of unknowns, but life isn't invalid :)
I became astonishingly aware of life's unknowns during college. Don't ask me why I didn't see them earlier. I just didn't!
The unknowns are: passing my exams, waking up the next day, sufficient finance to last for the week, food on the table for the next meal, meeting a new friend, touching someone's life, breaking up with my boyfriend at that time, etc etc.
It's been 2 years since college, the unknowns only increase and the more I tried to reposition them to discover the unknowns, the more unknowns enter my life. It's a never-ending story...
But you know what? The unknowns are what makes life more beautiful and interesting. I thank God I don't wake up to a life knowing all the things that will happen in the next 24 hours or next 30 days. And I thank God that the unknowns forced me to seek Him even more, which makes life soooooo much more bearable.
I do have more unknowns now. They drive me nuts sometimes, but they make life beautiful ;)
God bless y'all
29.7.08
Things I Didn't Throw Away
The usual course of things for our possessions is this:
Purchase/Taking possession - Use - To the bin.
Yup, we are all experts in disposal of things but whether or not we are responsible disposers is a totally different issue. In Norway in 2006 alone 9.6 million tonnes of waste was generated!
I've seen a kids throw a candy wrapper on the floor while walking and the parent did not even say a word. Parents, teach your kids to love the earth! (Even if you don't love where you live in, I am sure you at least want your kids to live in a decently clean one).
Anyways, coming back to the topic. There were many times I regretted throwing away somethings. This happens when I needed that something which I threw away and I would go: 'Aiya...shouldn't have threw it away.'
Although things which I didn't throw away take up some space in my room and make it look a little bit more messy than usual, these things somehow come in handy!
After I changed to postpaid from prepaid, I didn't throw my old SIM card away. Later on, my mobile phone had to be repaired and it was then that I found out I didn't save any numbers in my new SIM card! I lost all my numbers because they reformatted my phone (I gave them the permission thinking that I had my numbers in my new SIM). Thank God I didn't throw away my old SIM. At least I could copy most of the numbers from my old SIM to my new one.
phew.....
Another instance of me being glad I didn't throw somethings away was yesterday night when Skye sms-ed me and asked me whether I kept any of her wedding programs because she didn't keep any. I know as a bride, I would want to keep my own wedding program just for keepsakes. Not having one would kinds suck :P
I remembered chucking a paper bag into my car booth on the day of Ray and Skye's wedding night and didn't bother to clean my booth since then (yes, in case you still don't know, I live out of my car HAHA). I checked my booth and yahoo!! There were 2 pieces of Skye's wedding program! Thank God I didn't throw it away...
phew.....
Next time before you throw something away, think twice ;)
Purchase/Taking possession - Use - To the bin.
Yup, we are all experts in disposal of things but whether or not we are responsible disposers is a totally different issue. In Norway in 2006 alone 9.6 million tonnes of waste was generated!
I've seen a kids throw a candy wrapper on the floor while walking and the parent did not even say a word. Parents, teach your kids to love the earth! (Even if you don't love where you live in, I am sure you at least want your kids to live in a decently clean one).
Anyways, coming back to the topic. There were many times I regretted throwing away somethings. This happens when I needed that something which I threw away and I would go: 'Aiya...shouldn't have threw it away.'
Although things which I didn't throw away take up some space in my room and make it look a little bit more messy than usual, these things somehow come in handy!
After I changed to postpaid from prepaid, I didn't throw my old SIM card away. Later on, my mobile phone had to be repaired and it was then that I found out I didn't save any numbers in my new SIM card! I lost all my numbers because they reformatted my phone (I gave them the permission thinking that I had my numbers in my new SIM). Thank God I didn't throw away my old SIM. At least I could copy most of the numbers from my old SIM to my new one.
phew.....
Another instance of me being glad I didn't throw somethings away was yesterday night when Skye sms-ed me and asked me whether I kept any of her wedding programs because she didn't keep any. I know as a bride, I would want to keep my own wedding program just for keepsakes. Not having one would kinds suck :P
I remembered chucking a paper bag into my car booth on the day of Ray and Skye's wedding night and didn't bother to clean my booth since then (yes, in case you still don't know, I live out of my car HAHA). I checked my booth and yahoo!! There were 2 pieces of Skye's wedding program! Thank God I didn't throw it away...
phew.....
Next time before you throw something away, think twice ;)
25.7.08
Durian Seasons come and go, but has the nation changed?
I am so excited about the upcoming 51st year of independence of my country.
When I drove pass the durian stalls by the sides of roads (they are everywhere), I smiled at the thought of having the chance to eat the king of fruits again. Durians are indeed something that make me proud as a Malaysian.
But when I switch back to reality and see the things that are going on in the political, economic and social arena. My heart sank to the deepest pits there is within me.
It's been 51 years since the first time our ancestors shouted with joy and hope 'Merdeka!'
But can we shout the same word that is so meaningful with the same joy and hope today?
I would love to think that the nation has changed for good after 51 years of independence. There only needs to be the slightest hint of good administration of the nation to make me think that. It is however very very unfortunate that I cannot think so.
I can't even tell who is telling the truth anymore. Is Anwar's allegation true? Or is the IGP's defamation claim a right reflection? Or perhaps the comic depicting how the Executive is covering all the bigger issues that affect the nation with a single mattress in the Star the correct enunciation of Malaysia's state?
Justice must not only be done. It must be seen to be done.
Haha, I sure hope so. But I don't see it at all. There's no fair play anymore in the legal system (and I have no idea how can a respected person I admire said rule of law is observed).
I love Malaysia.
I love Malaysians too.
But........ *sigh*
Happy Merdeka to y'all.
When I drove pass the durian stalls by the sides of roads (they are everywhere), I smiled at the thought of having the chance to eat the king of fruits again. Durians are indeed something that make me proud as a Malaysian.
But when I switch back to reality and see the things that are going on in the political, economic and social arena. My heart sank to the deepest pits there is within me.
It's been 51 years since the first time our ancestors shouted with joy and hope 'Merdeka!'
But can we shout the same word that is so meaningful with the same joy and hope today?
I would love to think that the nation has changed for good after 51 years of independence. There only needs to be the slightest hint of good administration of the nation to make me think that. It is however very very unfortunate that I cannot think so.
I can't even tell who is telling the truth anymore. Is Anwar's allegation true? Or is the IGP's defamation claim a right reflection? Or perhaps the comic depicting how the Executive is covering all the bigger issues that affect the nation with a single mattress in the Star the correct enunciation of Malaysia's state?
Justice must not only be done. It must be seen to be done.
Haha, I sure hope so. But I don't see it at all. There's no fair play anymore in the legal system (and I have no idea how can a respected person I admire said rule of law is observed).
I love Malaysia.
I love Malaysians too.
But........ *sigh*
Happy Merdeka to y'all.
25.2.08
Hello 2008
Many people started 2008 with high hopes and in much anticipation of great things in a new year.
My 2008 was, so far, a down-and-up year.
It began as the worst and most difficult season in my entire 24 years of life, but by the amazing grace of God, I have come through the crazy storm by now and I am deeply in love with my saviour :)
It sounds crazy but every morning I wake up smiling because of His unfailing love. Every night I go to sleep smiling because of His care. Yes, I am madly in love.
It's my favourite time of the year again- end of February and beginning of March.
It's the time when the flowers on the trees will bloom, painting the tree with a different colour than its usual green. And in 2 weeks' time, the flowers will begin to fall onto the ground. It's the most beautiful time of the year to me :)
Hope you will observe and see the same beauty that touched my heart in this time, and may His beauty penetrate your heart through what you see, just as it has penetrated mine.
God bless :)
My 2008 was, so far, a down-and-up year.
It began as the worst and most difficult season in my entire 24 years of life, but by the amazing grace of God, I have come through the crazy storm by now and I am deeply in love with my saviour :)
It sounds crazy but every morning I wake up smiling because of His unfailing love. Every night I go to sleep smiling because of His care. Yes, I am madly in love.
It's my favourite time of the year again- end of February and beginning of March.
It's the time when the flowers on the trees will bloom, painting the tree with a different colour than its usual green. And in 2 weeks' time, the flowers will begin to fall onto the ground. It's the most beautiful time of the year to me :)
Hope you will observe and see the same beauty that touched my heart in this time, and may His beauty penetrate your heart through what you see, just as it has penetrated mine.
God bless :)
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