Perfectly Imperfect.

On 7th August, 2008, I celebrated my 24th year on the Earth (the only planet in the galaxy that has chocolates I presume). It was suppose to be a day of rejoicing & cheering for my existence but yet, I had one concern that is more serious than the huge-volcanic pimple on my face on this day that I should feel perfect just being myself... even after spending 12,441,600 minutes spinning in the orbit around the sun, I was still imperfect.

Whether it was...
- looks (e.g. if only Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba were real plain Jane's like me)
- character (e.g. too nice, too loyal, and in the end became a doormat)
- career (e.g. I'll never make it with my blur-ness. I am not sharp as the Samurai sword)
- finance (e.g. arghh! Why did I get that piece of junk?Now I don't even have money to eat)
- family (e.g. I never seemed to be there for them when they needed me)
- friends (e.g. [can't think of anything as example :P])
- ministry (uhuh!)
- you name it
... imperfection was all I felt. And I felt it to the core of me.

Am I really that miserable? 'NO', Jesus said, softly yet powerfully, in John 9:1-5 on this very special day in my life.

"No one is born perfect, just like the man in this passage. He was born blind but Jesus said the reason was "so that the works of God might be displayed in him". God made me exactly as He has wonderfully planned. He made me perfectly with my unique imperfections so that through His fire that removes them, His magical work in me may be seen. As imperfect as I am, in God's eyes I am perfectly imperfect - my imperfections are turning points for His glory that surpasses all perfections in me to truly shine." - abstract from Life Journal dated 7/8/2008.

Him changing my sight to see that I am perfectly imperfect, and making me so secure even in my imperfections.

That's REAL magic ;)

Snowman, O Snowman, where art thou?

Has this ever occurred to you?

We hear songs that sing of snowman everywhere we go in this Christmas season. Just this morning the music shop opposite my office was blasting one :)

But we are in Malaysia, a tropical country that only has sunshine and rain (and sometimes rainbow). We don't even have snow here. The only snowman I met is Mr. Picture Snowman or Mr. Plastic Snowman.

I wonder if there is any equivalent to a snowman here in Malaysia. Would it be rainman? The carrot or orange cone won't stick. Would it be iceman? Definitely won't last an hour. Hmmm.... I really wonder...

Where is the snowman? :-S

Roller Coaster

(Inspired (if you consider it inspiration) by Corkscrew at Genting Outdoor Theme Park)

Small voice inside: Stop. Pause. Just look at what's happened in your life for the past 12 months.

Me: It's been a crazy roller coaster ride with impact and speed that almost threw me off the ride and left bruises all over! Ouch!

Small voice inside: How crazy? Really...

Me: There were loops at unexpected spots and the sharp corners totally jerked all my insides out of me :( But then again... no matter how crazy, it comes to a halt on even level in the end.

Small voice inside: So was it scary?

Me: Hmm, yeah, at first! But when the ride ended, I was glad the ride took me through scary loops and corners. They brought thrills that make the ride and every single scream worth while :P Plus...without those scary parts and the fact that I went through them all, I won't be encouraged to take the ride again, or even better, take more scary rides that guarantee more fun ;)

Small voice inside: Were you experiencing the thrills of the ride at every moment?

Me: Sigh...No :(

Small voice inside: Why not?

Me: That's cos I was thinking about something else at some moments instead of just surrendering to the ride and wherever it will take me to.

Small voice inside: What was in your mind then?

Me: Please don't laugh... I was thinking 'What if something goes wrong with the structure?", "What if there was technical problem with it?", "What if a bolt or a gear was loosened?", "Will the ride fly-off from the rail?", "What if I never make it alive?" (HAHA)

Small voice inside: So if you hadn't think about all that, would the ride be any different to you?

Me: Oh definitely! I would have enjoyed it even more :) I guess if I hadn't worry so much about what would happen or be so bogged down by work, to-do's, tasks, deadlines, or fear that life would go so wrong for me, 2008 would have been so much better. The ride would have been more fun!

Small voice inside: Any regrets?

Me: Nuh... the past is the past. There's nothing I can change about that. But...with what I've learned, I can change the way I face the roller coaster rides that are to come :)

Small voice inside: Hey, you did say life in 2008 left bruises all over ya. Do they still hurt now?

Me: Hmm...now that you mention it...you know what? They are all gone and I didn't even notice it :D Wohoo!!

Just Me: Life is a roller coaster ride if you live it, not just do it. And trust me, it will be a damn cool ride if you surrender to the thrill.

DISCLAIMER: Sorry if this post is boring to you. It's a result of not blogging for ages. Please pardon me ;)

LIVE life, don't DO it.

God bless.