He Keeps Me Walking Home.

I hadn't eaten all day. I didn't really sleep last night. It was a long day at work. And my shoulders hurt.

When it was time to walk home, I dragged my feet all the way. That's not me!
What is wrong? I feel an unhealthy burden in my heart. Such an agonizing sorrow is tormenting me. Where did it come from? I had no idea. The next thing I know, I was tearing on my walk home.

I didn't care if anyone was looking. The hunger I felt was nothing in comparison to the sorrow. I then understood how some can hurt their physical bodies to externalise the pain in them which was ten, hundred times greater then the outward pain. It makes them feel, at least, that they are alive.

If there is a noun for something that is more dead than a zombie, I will be it today....

Then I thought of Jesus. He had sleepless nights, hungry days and much pain and physical torture right before He was crucified. I thought "How did you even find the strength to take it all the way to Calvary? I already wanted to give up 5 times on this 10 minutes walk home..."

But then, even if there was deep sorrow in his heart, there was something else way stronger and overpowering - love. He loved me, and you, and everyone else so much that even if it's super-duper-hard-painful to go all the way to Calvary, He would. Simply because to Him, IT IS ALL WORTH IT.

I am worth it to Jesus. It was me, you and everyone else that motivated and drove Him to the cross. I thought "I need something to drive me home, this 10 minutes walk is too long!"

In a split second which felt like ages, I ran through all the things I could make into what drives me...and I chose Jesus himself. I need Him, and even more so today.

I started brisk-walking home, eager to just get into my room and run into His embrace. And I did. I cried my lungs out in His arms, telling Him in the intervals between my sobs and a mixture of both about the sorrow I felt and how it tormented me, committed all that to Him and asked Him to lift it up, and whoa....I feel so much better now :)