Went back to KK for Mother's Day, only to be welcomed home by a police road block :-S
There was some really dramatic show in the state assembly a couple of days ago. Security guards had to carry the chairperson out. Many would have thought things like this only happen in Taiwan. Well, I guess the motto does say something about us Malaysians... "Malaysia boleh!".
It's sad to know that politically, Perak is still unstable. The state government is illegal. We don't even know who is in charge for administration of the state.
We are stuck in between, and that sucks.
It is no wonder so many have lost hope in the states and constituencies representatives. They use beautifully tailored agendas to get the people's trust, but seemed to fail to deliver what they promised initially. Yes, no doubt there maybe difficulties in implementing their plans due to opposition (be it from the Fedral government or the Opposition itself), ultimately, the ones at lost and victimised are the people.
Did we vote for the right candidate? Or perhaps, our choices were simply the lesser of two, or more, evils?
I wonder...if I can make a difference.
Disney Sunset
Disney Sunset
10.5.09
6.5.09
It's OK, He Understands
I didn't want to leave a gap in the things I do. I hate to let go so suddenly, but I have no choice.
Things have gotten out of control. I bet you've been there before.
Even if no soul on earth does understand, it doesn't matter, because Jesus totally understand why I made that choice. And that is enough.
(If you are reading this and are going through the same thing, I hope this encourages you.)
Things have gotten out of control. I bet you've been there before.
Even if no soul on earth does understand, it doesn't matter, because Jesus totally understand why I made that choice. And that is enough.
(If you are reading this and are going through the same thing, I hope this encourages you.)
30.4.09
Dad, You Are So Right.
Yesterday, I came too close to Death. He got his hands on me, and I smelled him wherever I go.
You're so stupid! He whispered.
Gosh, you are sooooo ugly. He jeered.
No one will accept you. He scoffed at me.
You will be alone forever. He shouted.
You won't be able to stand the pain. He commented.
Just end it, give up! He exclaimed.
You're disgusting. He insulted.
What a blunder you've made, tsk tsk tsk. He said.
You are so weak. He pointed out.
You're a total failure. He sneaked.
This is a real battle. I know my Saviour is fighting it with me, and for me.
'Jesus! Where are you?!!!' I cried out loud, only to be responded with stillness... and silence.
Then, Death kept quiet too. Dad must have shut him up. I thought... He was right by my side, and I asked "Why do I have to go through so many heartbreaks while others can have happily-ever-after stories? This excruciating pain is too much!"
Dad looked at me with the most tender eyes, with a glint of hurt in them, and asked "Do you trust me?"
Guilty! I sighed, "Sorry, I do..."
He pursed his lips, then said "I've got greater plans for you. Being comfortable won't get you anywhere. This part of you must die for more of me to come into you. Even when you walked through the valley of shadow of death, be it your own death or not, I will be with you. My rod and my staff shall comfort you."
...and most shockingly, He said "You are precious to me. And I AM RAVISHED by your beauty." I rolled my eyes and thought "Yeah, if there is any!"
"Don't see yourself as ugly just because they all end up with prettier ones. You must see how I see you. Would you rather someone like you for your good looks, or you would rather have someone like you for looking like ME inside?Appearence is of no value to me."
Gosh, Dad heard my thoughts :P
Sigh, Dad...You are so right.
"And stop crying already. The car beside you will get into an accident because the driver is looking at you crying." And yes, she was looking at me.
Ooops... :P
You're so stupid! He whispered.
Gosh, you are sooooo ugly. He jeered.
No one will accept you. He scoffed at me.
You will be alone forever. He shouted.
You won't be able to stand the pain. He commented.
Just end it, give up! He exclaimed.
You're disgusting. He insulted.
What a blunder you've made, tsk tsk tsk. He said.
You are so weak. He pointed out.
You're a total failure. He sneaked.
This is a real battle. I know my Saviour is fighting it with me, and for me.
'Jesus! Where are you?!!!' I cried out loud, only to be responded with stillness... and silence.
Then, Death kept quiet too. Dad must have shut him up. I thought... He was right by my side, and I asked "Why do I have to go through so many heartbreaks while others can have happily-ever-after stories? This excruciating pain is too much!"
Dad looked at me with the most tender eyes, with a glint of hurt in them, and asked "Do you trust me?"
Guilty! I sighed, "Sorry, I do..."
He pursed his lips, then said "I've got greater plans for you. Being comfortable won't get you anywhere. This part of you must die for more of me to come into you. Even when you walked through the valley of shadow of death, be it your own death or not, I will be with you. My rod and my staff shall comfort you."
...and most shockingly, He said "You are precious to me. And I AM RAVISHED by your beauty." I rolled my eyes and thought "Yeah, if there is any!"
"Don't see yourself as ugly just because they all end up with prettier ones. You must see how I see you. Would you rather someone like you for your good looks, or you would rather have someone like you for looking like ME inside?Appearence is of no value to me."
Gosh, Dad heard my thoughts :P
Sigh, Dad...You are so right.
"And stop crying already. The car beside you will get into an accident because the driver is looking at you crying." And yes, she was looking at me.
Ooops... :P
18.4.09
Walk Away.
Every cut to it
Every pain it took
From the words you said
From the things you did
Brick by brick
Piled up around my heart
Little did I know
That walls have been built around my heart
Tearing them down
Was not easy
I had to face the fears
I had to take chances
I might get hurt again
Or never love again
But in the end
His grace helped me through
My heart is now open
Waiting for His appointment
Knowing for sure
That His plan is so that I prosper
Then you came and said
Mistakes were what you made
You wanted 2nd chance
And tell me that I'm the one
What's the point?
She was what you wanted
She was who you chose
Just after a couple of days you said
That you want me to be the only one
Sorry to say
It's now too late
I found my completeness, I am now whole
Even though they say
'Why are you so cruel?'
But I am so secured
I will not be fooled
I can't complete you
I can't quench your thirst
It MUST be His unconditional love
You get complete first
It's not easy now
For me to say this
But I must walk away
I will walk away
Every pain it took
From the words you said
From the things you did
Brick by brick
Piled up around my heart
Little did I know
That walls have been built around my heart
Tearing them down
Was not easy
I had to face the fears
I had to take chances
I might get hurt again
Or never love again
But in the end
His grace helped me through
My heart is now open
Waiting for His appointment
Knowing for sure
That His plan is so that I prosper
Then you came and said
Mistakes were what you made
You wanted 2nd chance
And tell me that I'm the one
What's the point?
She was what you wanted
She was who you chose
Just after a couple of days you said
That you want me to be the only one
Sorry to say
It's now too late
I found my completeness, I am now whole
Even though they say
'Why are you so cruel?'
But I am so secured
I will not be fooled
I can't complete you
I can't quench your thirst
It MUST be His unconditional love
You get complete first
It's not easy now
For me to say this
But I must walk away
I will walk away
8.4.09
:) :-) (",)
:)
A smile is infectious. Yes, it does funny things to my mind, sending me all the warm, fuzzy signals, melting my heart just slightly so my heartbeat remains normal.
A stranger old Indian lady smiled back at me yesterday morning. It triggered a whole train of thoughts, inevitably leading me back to the Creator of the world and 'smile's.
The cutest part was she wished me 'Good morning' in her sweet small voice when she walked pass me! Aww...she looked at me and I looked right into her eyes during that milisecond of verbal exchange. And I smiled even wider to her...and watched her give me a tiny nod. I looked at her until she walked out of sight, hunching a little.
This was my thought:
Truly, behind all those signs of age and physical deterioration, there can be immense beauty that touches the depths of one's heart. She was SO BEAUTIFUL.
That's the sort of beauty that touches souls. She reminded me of how God can be there caring for me even in the midst of trials and pain. She was a tiny reflection of who He is - SO BEAUTIFUL.
I can see rest in her eyes, hear strength in her voice, and feel God in her smile. That smile made such a huge difference to my day...and she was just a stranger.
:)
A smile is infectious. Yes, it does funny things to my mind, sending me all the warm, fuzzy signals, melting my heart just slightly so my heartbeat remains normal.
A stranger old Indian lady smiled back at me yesterday morning. It triggered a whole train of thoughts, inevitably leading me back to the Creator of the world and 'smile's.
The cutest part was she wished me 'Good morning' in her sweet small voice when she walked pass me! Aww...she looked at me and I looked right into her eyes during that milisecond of verbal exchange. And I smiled even wider to her...and watched her give me a tiny nod. I looked at her until she walked out of sight, hunching a little.
This was my thought:
Truly, behind all those signs of age and physical deterioration, there can be immense beauty that touches the depths of one's heart. She was SO BEAUTIFUL.
That's the sort of beauty that touches souls. She reminded me of how God can be there caring for me even in the midst of trials and pain. She was a tiny reflection of who He is - SO BEAUTIFUL.
I can see rest in her eyes, hear strength in her voice, and feel God in her smile. That smile made such a huge difference to my day...and she was just a stranger.
:)
4.4.09
Love Note No.5
Proper Correction
www.tonycampolo.org
Trying to figure out how to correct a child is a difficult, but a brilliant story was told to me by the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi as an example of how it is best done.
Gandhi was born in South Africa, and after his university training, he went to India to lead the struggle against British colonialism. He had every intention of returning to South Africa to lead the struggle against apartheid, but sadly, as we all know, he was assassinated before he could do that. Gandhi's son took up his father's commitment to end apartheid, and so the family returned to South Africa to work toward that end.
His grandson Arun Gandhi told me that one day his father asked him to drive him to a meeting in Johannesburg.
"My father asked me to drop off the automobile at the repair garage and then be back at five o'clock to pick him up," he said.
The grandson went on to say,
"I dropped my father off for his meeting and got the car to the garage by one. Since it was a long time until five o'clock, I figured I could go to the movies, which I did. That day there was a double feature being shown, and when I got out I checked my watch and realised that it was past five o'clock!
"I rushed to the corner where my father had said he would be waiting for me, and when I saw him there, standing in the rain, I tried to think of excuses I could make. I rushed up to him and said,
"Father, you must forgive me. It is taking them longer to repair the automobile than I thought it would take, but if you wait here I will go and get the car. It should be ready by now."
"My father bowed his head and looked downward. He stood for a long moment and then he said, "When you were not here at our meeting time I called the garage to see why you were late. They told me the automobile was ready at three o'clock! Now I have to give some thought as to how I have failed, so as to have a son who would lie to his own father. I will have to think about this. So I am going to walk home and use the time during my walk to meditate on this question."
Arun Gandhi said,
"I followed my elderly father home that rainy, misty night, watching him stagger along the muddy road. I rode behind him with headlights of the car flashing ahead of his steps. And as I watched him stumbling toward home, I beat on the steering wheel and said over and over,
"I will never lie again!
I will never lie again!
I will never lie again!
It was obvious that this was a way of correcting a child that did not involve punishing the child directly, but showed the child how much hurt a parent feels when a child does what is wrong.
www.tonycampolo.org
Trying to figure out how to correct a child is a difficult, but a brilliant story was told to me by the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi as an example of how it is best done.
Gandhi was born in South Africa, and after his university training, he went to India to lead the struggle against British colonialism. He had every intention of returning to South Africa to lead the struggle against apartheid, but sadly, as we all know, he was assassinated before he could do that. Gandhi's son took up his father's commitment to end apartheid, and so the family returned to South Africa to work toward that end.
His grandson Arun Gandhi told me that one day his father asked him to drive him to a meeting in Johannesburg.
"My father asked me to drop off the automobile at the repair garage and then be back at five o'clock to pick him up," he said.
The grandson went on to say,
"I dropped my father off for his meeting and got the car to the garage by one. Since it was a long time until five o'clock, I figured I could go to the movies, which I did. That day there was a double feature being shown, and when I got out I checked my watch and realised that it was past five o'clock!
"I rushed to the corner where my father had said he would be waiting for me, and when I saw him there, standing in the rain, I tried to think of excuses I could make. I rushed up to him and said,
"Father, you must forgive me. It is taking them longer to repair the automobile than I thought it would take, but if you wait here I will go and get the car. It should be ready by now."
"My father bowed his head and looked downward. He stood for a long moment and then he said, "When you were not here at our meeting time I called the garage to see why you were late. They told me the automobile was ready at three o'clock! Now I have to give some thought as to how I have failed, so as to have a son who would lie to his own father. I will have to think about this. So I am going to walk home and use the time during my walk to meditate on this question."
Arun Gandhi said,
"I followed my elderly father home that rainy, misty night, watching him stagger along the muddy road. I rode behind him with headlights of the car flashing ahead of his steps. And as I watched him stumbling toward home, I beat on the steering wheel and said over and over,
"I will never lie again!
I will never lie again!
I will never lie again!
It was obvious that this was a way of correcting a child that did not involve punishing the child directly, but showed the child how much hurt a parent feels when a child does what is wrong.
Love Note No. 4
"Do You Really Love Me?"
http://sivinkit.net
I will always remember what an old man told me. He said, before you close your eyes to meet the maker, significant moments of your life resurface in your mind. I am now moments away from my own execution, and I cannot help but remember the eventful day when I walked on the beach for the last time with my friends and my mentor.
We talked about "Love".
Love. I thought I knew what that meant. I believed I had it all sorted out - attraction to another woman, attention to children, even allegiance to my nation, my people, my religion. It was energizing, it captured my imagination, I was on fire...I was on the right side.
When we first met on the beach, he said to me, "Come and follow me." My life was never the same again. We walked the dusty roads of Palestine together. I began to see the terror of love more than the terror of hate.
He opened blind eyes.
He touched the untouchable.
He threw parties for prostitutes.
He played with children on the streets.
He was different, he spoke of a different way of loving.
He was love in action.
He was my friend.
I loved him.
But then one say everything went down the drain. He was arrested; my mentor. He became a threat to the powers. When he needed me most, when I could have stood up to be counted, when it mattered most - I failed. I screwed up. I denied him. Not once, not twice - three times!
I denied him three times.
But he saw it coming. I thought I would die for him - I told him I'd die for him.
But at the end, he died for me.
So when he came back, (yes, he came back from the dead), I couldn't ask for a second chance. No, surely that was too much to ask! I had already stepped onto the 'wrong' side. I betrayed my friend. I shattered the love between us.
We were walking on the beach when he asked,
"Do you love me?"
Do I love him?
What am I supposed to say?
Did I love him as a friend?
...but I had betrayed him.
Did I love him as a mentor?
...but I had denied him.
But did I love him?
I answered, "Yes". Perhaps, I could still love him with conditions and more realistic limits.
He answered,
"Go feed the hungry, and love people..."
He didn't stop. He asked again,
"Do you love me?"
I thought I could get away with the first answer. But there was no escape to his gentle piercing voice. It cut through my heart. I dug deep. Even though I had messed up, I still loved him and with whatever little I had left within me - maybe, I could still squeeze something out.
"Yes" I replied.
"Go and feed the hungry, and love people along the way..."
"Do you love me?"
He asked once more.
My mind crashed. My heart crumbled. I had nothing left to say...Did I love him unconditionally? Did I at least want to love him unconditionally? Could I still love him after failing more than once? Should I even dare to love him and do what he asked me to do, even after messing-up the way I did? Why isn't his love conditional? Why doesn't he lay out a new set of requirements for someone like me?
I knew I had nothing to hide from him - I was a wreck.
I was in pieces. I was a coward.
I was nobody. I had nothing.
I was nothing.
I thought I knew what love was.
The truth is - I didn't.
The truth is, I still don't.
At least not in the way he did.
He loved me unconditionally. His tears washed away my shame. His voice healed my soul. He cleared my guilt with just one look. His words picked me up. His questions didn't condemn me, instead, they put me back together again.
So I could still follow him a second time. So I could have a second chance. Was I to take it?
"Go and feed the hungry, and love people along the way...and you will be taken to places you don't want to go."
My life was no longer my own. Unconditional love changes you that way. It changes what you are attracted to. It directs what you pay attention to. It realigns who and what you give your allegiance to. Unconditional love breaks into pieces all the false securities I once held on to, put me together again, and showed me the road to true freedom, hope and courage.
I will breathe my last breath soon. Yet, I feel peace. I will meet him in a while. I walked away from our last stroll on the beach a new man. The years after that turned out to be the best years of my life. I can truly say now, I know to some measure what he meant by 'love' - unconditional love. Like him this new man was arrested to be crucified, and yet, I am still unworthy to die in the same way as my friend and master. This old man in me will die with no regret for saying "Yes" to his unconditional love and "Yes" to his call to "Go and feed the hungry, love people along the way."
I can truly say now - "Yes, I do love him". Because, once upon a time, when he asked,
"Do you love me?"
it was just his way of saying,
"I love you unconditionally, Peter".
http://sivinkit.net
I will always remember what an old man told me. He said, before you close your eyes to meet the maker, significant moments of your life resurface in your mind. I am now moments away from my own execution, and I cannot help but remember the eventful day when I walked on the beach for the last time with my friends and my mentor.
We talked about "Love".
Love. I thought I knew what that meant. I believed I had it all sorted out - attraction to another woman, attention to children, even allegiance to my nation, my people, my religion. It was energizing, it captured my imagination, I was on fire...I was on the right side.
When we first met on the beach, he said to me, "Come and follow me." My life was never the same again. We walked the dusty roads of Palestine together. I began to see the terror of love more than the terror of hate.
He opened blind eyes.
He touched the untouchable.
He threw parties for prostitutes.
He played with children on the streets.
He was different, he spoke of a different way of loving.
He was love in action.
He was my friend.
I loved him.
But then one say everything went down the drain. He was arrested; my mentor. He became a threat to the powers. When he needed me most, when I could have stood up to be counted, when it mattered most - I failed. I screwed up. I denied him. Not once, not twice - three times!
I denied him three times.
But he saw it coming. I thought I would die for him - I told him I'd die for him.
But at the end, he died for me.
So when he came back, (yes, he came back from the dead), I couldn't ask for a second chance. No, surely that was too much to ask! I had already stepped onto the 'wrong' side. I betrayed my friend. I shattered the love between us.
We were walking on the beach when he asked,
"Do you love me?"
Do I love him?
What am I supposed to say?
Did I love him as a friend?
...but I had betrayed him.
Did I love him as a mentor?
...but I had denied him.
But did I love him?
I answered, "Yes". Perhaps, I could still love him with conditions and more realistic limits.
He answered,
"Go feed the hungry, and love people..."
He didn't stop. He asked again,
"Do you love me?"
I thought I could get away with the first answer. But there was no escape to his gentle piercing voice. It cut through my heart. I dug deep. Even though I had messed up, I still loved him and with whatever little I had left within me - maybe, I could still squeeze something out.
"Yes" I replied.
"Go and feed the hungry, and love people along the way..."
"Do you love me?"
He asked once more.
My mind crashed. My heart crumbled. I had nothing left to say...Did I love him unconditionally? Did I at least want to love him unconditionally? Could I still love him after failing more than once? Should I even dare to love him and do what he asked me to do, even after messing-up the way I did? Why isn't his love conditional? Why doesn't he lay out a new set of requirements for someone like me?
I knew I had nothing to hide from him - I was a wreck.
I was in pieces. I was a coward.
I was nobody. I had nothing.
I was nothing.
I thought I knew what love was.
The truth is - I didn't.
The truth is, I still don't.
At least not in the way he did.
He loved me unconditionally. His tears washed away my shame. His voice healed my soul. He cleared my guilt with just one look. His words picked me up. His questions didn't condemn me, instead, they put me back together again.
So I could still follow him a second time. So I could have a second chance. Was I to take it?
"Go and feed the hungry, and love people along the way...and you will be taken to places you don't want to go."
My life was no longer my own. Unconditional love changes you that way. It changes what you are attracted to. It directs what you pay attention to. It realigns who and what you give your allegiance to. Unconditional love breaks into pieces all the false securities I once held on to, put me together again, and showed me the road to true freedom, hope and courage.
I will breathe my last breath soon. Yet, I feel peace. I will meet him in a while. I walked away from our last stroll on the beach a new man. The years after that turned out to be the best years of my life. I can truly say now, I know to some measure what he meant by 'love' - unconditional love. Like him this new man was arrested to be crucified, and yet, I am still unworthy to die in the same way as my friend and master. This old man in me will die with no regret for saying "Yes" to his unconditional love and "Yes" to his call to "Go and feed the hungry, love people along the way."
I can truly say now - "Yes, I do love him". Because, once upon a time, when he asked,
"Do you love me?"
it was just his way of saying,
"I love you unconditionally, Peter".
Love Note No. 3
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired. - said a 4 year old
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. - said a 7 year old
Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imginable. - said Gandhi
Love is an act of endless forgiveness. A tender look which becomes a habit. - said Peter Ustinov
Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less. - said Will Moss
A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - said Frank A. Clerk
Love is a choice we make because we see a cause greater than ourselves, and that cause is this _ LOVE. - said Sin Yee (hehe)
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. - said a 7 year old
Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imginable. - said Gandhi
Love is an act of endless forgiveness. A tender look which becomes a habit. - said Peter Ustinov
Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less. - said Will Moss
A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - said Frank A. Clerk
Love is a choice we make because we see a cause greater than ourselves, and that cause is this _ LOVE. - said Sin Yee (hehe)
Love Note No. 2
Rachel lives in The Pit - the messiest street in town where hopelessness and brokenness lurk in every corner. Rachel is always in rags, with dirt on her hands and face, and Fears and Failures were her shoes. Rachel is the 'reject', violated countless times, and don't see any worth in herself anymore.
HE is the royal prince, an heir to the kingdom above kingdoms whom his father loves. He is the most handsome man alive, strong and courageous. Daring and pure. Wisest among the princes, and totally a hunk all women scatter after :) He always wear Joy as his shirt, Hope as his pants, and Love as his shoes. His favourite hat, which he puts on everyday, is Compassion. Despite of all the women scattering after him, he was looking for someone who can fit into his heart perfectly.
Rachel and him are worlds apart in every single way. Yet...
He found her in The Pits while taking a stroll on purpose. Driven by Compassion, He rescued her and rode on his white glorious horse with Rachel to his beautiful kingdom. He cleaned her, got her new clothes, and cared for her. Since then he never left her side.
So many looked at Rachel with disgust in their eyes, some with much disapproval. When Rachel and him walk together, they asked aloud as if on purpose 'How did they end up together?', 'What is a prince like him doing with a reject like her?' Each time this happened, he would tighten his arm around her shoulder even when Rachel wanted to break loose from it due to shame. She would try harder at being perfect for him, but would fail miserably each time she tried.
One day, he looked Rachel straight in her eyes with such fiery and said in his tender, piercing voice, "Stop trying. Just let me be strong for you." Rachel was flabbergasted. But deep down inside, she knew that he was the strength she needed.
The truth is Rachel never dreamt of this. No one ever looked at her, what more take an interest in her. But she knew this to be true - He saw something in her that nobody else could see. He made a pair of sneakers, Faithfulness and Goodness, and found her to be the one who fitted them perfectly. Fears and Failures were burnt to ashes in the fire. He wanted her to walk and even run on Faithfulness and Goodness. He didn't care what others would say, because to him it was all worth it. And Rachel, knowing that she's the wimpiest and weakest person she has ever known herself, was desperate for that strength.
Rachel chose to let him be strong for her. It the midst of opposition and trials, it was his love that kept her strong. Rachel only had to look down at her shoes, and she would run faster and better each time after she tripped. He made his promises firm for her. His unwavering love he kept purposely for her.
Rachel will never forget what he said...
"Let me be strong for you."
Rachel is so glad she made that choice - to let him be strong for her instead of trying to be stong herself. She is so so glad. The strength he offered was what made her COMPLETE.
HE is the royal prince, an heir to the kingdom above kingdoms whom his father loves. He is the most handsome man alive, strong and courageous. Daring and pure. Wisest among the princes, and totally a hunk all women scatter after :) He always wear Joy as his shirt, Hope as his pants, and Love as his shoes. His favourite hat, which he puts on everyday, is Compassion. Despite of all the women scattering after him, he was looking for someone who can fit into his heart perfectly.
Rachel and him are worlds apart in every single way. Yet...
He found her in The Pits while taking a stroll on purpose. Driven by Compassion, He rescued her and rode on his white glorious horse with Rachel to his beautiful kingdom. He cleaned her, got her new clothes, and cared for her. Since then he never left her side.
So many looked at Rachel with disgust in their eyes, some with much disapproval. When Rachel and him walk together, they asked aloud as if on purpose 'How did they end up together?', 'What is a prince like him doing with a reject like her?' Each time this happened, he would tighten his arm around her shoulder even when Rachel wanted to break loose from it due to shame. She would try harder at being perfect for him, but would fail miserably each time she tried.
One day, he looked Rachel straight in her eyes with such fiery and said in his tender, piercing voice, "Stop trying. Just let me be strong for you." Rachel was flabbergasted. But deep down inside, she knew that he was the strength she needed.
The truth is Rachel never dreamt of this. No one ever looked at her, what more take an interest in her. But she knew this to be true - He saw something in her that nobody else could see. He made a pair of sneakers, Faithfulness and Goodness, and found her to be the one who fitted them perfectly. Fears and Failures were burnt to ashes in the fire. He wanted her to walk and even run on Faithfulness and Goodness. He didn't care what others would say, because to him it was all worth it. And Rachel, knowing that she's the wimpiest and weakest person she has ever known herself, was desperate for that strength.
Rachel chose to let him be strong for her. It the midst of opposition and trials, it was his love that kept her strong. Rachel only had to look down at her shoes, and she would run faster and better each time after she tripped. He made his promises firm for her. His unwavering love he kept purposely for her.
Rachel will never forget what he said...
"Let me be strong for you."
Rachel is so glad she made that choice - to let him be strong for her instead of trying to be stong herself. She is so so glad. The strength he offered was what made her COMPLETE.
Love Note No. 1
The best comedian in the whole wide world...
The best physician in the whole wide world...
The best musician and composer in the whole wide world...
The best painter and artist in the whole wide world...
The best architect and events manager in the whole wide world...
The most DARING and attractive man alive...
The manliest man and most passionate person in the whole wide world...
The most tender-hearted person in the whole wide world...
The revealer of all mysteries...
...chose to love me
...chose to uncover himself for me
...chose me.
*Thud* Sin Yee fainted.
Someone please call the ambulance :P
The best physician in the whole wide world...
The best musician and composer in the whole wide world...
The best painter and artist in the whole wide world...
The best architect and events manager in the whole wide world...
The most DARING and attractive man alive...
The manliest man and most passionate person in the whole wide world...
The most tender-hearted person in the whole wide world...
The revealer of all mysteries...
...chose to love me
...chose to uncover himself for me
...chose me.
*Thud* Sin Yee fainted.
Someone please call the ambulance :P
1.4.09
You've got SMS!
What do you do with the SMS's in your phone?
Do you:
A) Store them all in your inbox until you have to delete some to make space for new ones? OR
B) Delete them all after you have read them and replied to the sender? OR
C) Save only the nice, touching, funny, cool, inspirational, encouraging or important ones and delete the rest?
I receive an average of 4 SMS's a day. So that's 28 SMS's a week, 112 SMS's a month 1,344 SMS's a year! That figure excludes the floodgate of SMS's coming in during festive seasons and birthday. If only I can keep all of them... But what's the point, right?
:)
Few years ago, I was still using Nokia 2210 and I can only store up to 20 SMS's (or was it 10) in my inbox. I took an idea from a friend who suggested that I get a notebook to jot down all the nice SMS's I received so that I can make space for new ones. Brilliant! I did do that, but only for the SMS's from my ex. There were altogether three notebooks full of SMS's from him. Thank goodness I lost them all and have absolutely no idea where they are now. I can't even remember any of the SMS's written down in those notebooks, which I truly thank God for :P
I no longer jot down any nice SMS's I received, though I save some in my inbox for a period of time until I think I can delete it. So I skimmed through the ones I have now and here are a few which I like (please don't mind the SMS language):
1. One day the villagers decided to pray for rain...On the day of prayer everyone gathered, only i boy came with an umbrella...That's CONFIDENCE...When you throw a 1 year old baby in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him...That's TRUST...Every night, we go to bed, we're not sure that we'll get up tomorrow. but we still have many plans for the coming day...That's HOPE...Have confidence in prayer, trust in God and never lose hope...These are boosters of FAITH... (Sender: Stephanie Kew)
2. Hv u eva xperiencd joy dt made u cry?News dt kept u speechles?Favor u neva merited?Xpect al thes & mor as u go in2 2oo9. Hapi new year (Sender: Anonymous)
3. I no longer recall whether knowing u is like a rainy day or a sunny day, but I just remember that feeling is like the bright sun rays, and soaking of a heart that's never been soaked before. I don't know how much further the journey is, but I do know that no matter how long it has been, our friendship doesn't change (Sender: Ramesh, translated into English from Chinese)
Some SMS's are life-changing. Don't underestimate the power of it, haha.
Hope you receive a nice one today!
Do you:
A) Store them all in your inbox until you have to delete some to make space for new ones? OR
B) Delete them all after you have read them and replied to the sender? OR
C) Save only the nice, touching, funny, cool, inspirational, encouraging or important ones and delete the rest?
I receive an average of 4 SMS's a day. So that's 28 SMS's a week, 112 SMS's a month 1,344 SMS's a year! That figure excludes the floodgate of SMS's coming in during festive seasons and birthday. If only I can keep all of them... But what's the point, right?
:)
Few years ago, I was still using Nokia 2210 and I can only store up to 20 SMS's (or was it 10) in my inbox. I took an idea from a friend who suggested that I get a notebook to jot down all the nice SMS's I received so that I can make space for new ones. Brilliant! I did do that, but only for the SMS's from my ex. There were altogether three notebooks full of SMS's from him. Thank goodness I lost them all and have absolutely no idea where they are now. I can't even remember any of the SMS's written down in those notebooks, which I truly thank God for :P
I no longer jot down any nice SMS's I received, though I save some in my inbox for a period of time until I think I can delete it. So I skimmed through the ones I have now and here are a few which I like (please don't mind the SMS language):
1. One day the villagers decided to pray for rain...On the day of prayer everyone gathered, only i boy came with an umbrella...That's CONFIDENCE...When you throw a 1 year old baby in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him...That's TRUST...Every night, we go to bed, we're not sure that we'll get up tomorrow. but we still have many plans for the coming day...That's HOPE...Have confidence in prayer, trust in God and never lose hope...These are boosters of FAITH... (Sender: Stephanie Kew)
2. Hv u eva xperiencd joy dt made u cry?News dt kept u speechles?Favor u neva merited?Xpect al thes & mor as u go in2 2oo9. Hapi new year (Sender: Anonymous)
3. I no longer recall whether knowing u is like a rainy day or a sunny day, but I just remember that feeling is like the bright sun rays, and soaking of a heart that's never been soaked before. I don't know how much further the journey is, but I do know that no matter how long it has been, our friendship doesn't change (Sender: Ramesh, translated into English from Chinese)
Some SMS's are life-changing. Don't underestimate the power of it, haha.
Hope you receive a nice one today!
9.3.09
Seven Pounds...and seven pailful of tears.
Will Smith's acting has gone up two notches. It was superbly brilliant. Seeing how he developed from being the Fresh Prince of BeL-Air to being Bad Boy and now Tim is truly awesome. He totally deserves awards!
The cinema was only quarter full. Maybe it was because it's the 11am show. I cried so much :( With a cinema that 'empty', everyone could hear my sobs (and laughter in three parts of the whole movie). Sigh...and Steph noted to me that she noticed I kept wiping away the tears on my face. If I had a towel, it could have easily collected pails full of tears.
The part when Tim signed the consent form in the Motel room followed by his best buddy crying already confirmed my prediction of what Tim was planning to do to himself in the movie. Since that scene, I just teared and teared.
Strangely, I identify with the pain and burden Tim carried. I understood perfectly the reason behind every single decision he made with every person he wanted to help. I so get it. I once (long time ago) said to God: If it takes me dying or losing everything to let everyone know You and see that life is so much more, I'll gladly do it. The one huge difference is Tim was looking for redemption for himself. I simply suffer when I see others suffer or not living life with abundance, and to take away that suffering I'll do anything.
The movie definitely made me embark on a short reflection trip, especially the line that spoke to me so much: Tim gave his house to Connie Tepos without a single dime in return. In his letter to Connie, he ended it with (paraphrasing) "Don't ask any question. This is my wish. Just honour it. Live life with abundance."
At that moment, my hair stood. My heart silently shouts to me "That's what your Father wants for you. Don't ask why. Just honour it. Live life with abundance." It was as if that line was especially tailored to let me know that. And then I teared even more :P
The movie is perfect lah... but I just don't like the idea of Tim commiting suicide so that others can have the great gift he wanted to give to each name. I think it says comming suicide is Ok if you want to help others (but that is just what I think).
From another angle, I guess the message is very similar to the gospel - Jesus chose to die on the cross, bear all our sins and pain, so that we can all live life with abundance. He could have said 'NO, I won't do it for them' or stopped half-way while being beaten up and chose to just give up and not care for those who do not know him. Jesus chose to give his life up so that WE ALL can live life with abundance. He didn't do it for his own redemption though, he did it for ours.
What do you think the message of the movie was? :) I'd like to know.
The cinema was only quarter full. Maybe it was because it's the 11am show. I cried so much :( With a cinema that 'empty', everyone could hear my sobs (and laughter in three parts of the whole movie). Sigh...and Steph noted to me that she noticed I kept wiping away the tears on my face. If I had a towel, it could have easily collected pails full of tears.
The part when Tim signed the consent form in the Motel room followed by his best buddy crying already confirmed my prediction of what Tim was planning to do to himself in the movie. Since that scene, I just teared and teared.
Strangely, I identify with the pain and burden Tim carried. I understood perfectly the reason behind every single decision he made with every person he wanted to help. I so get it. I once (long time ago) said to God: If it takes me dying or losing everything to let everyone know You and see that life is so much more, I'll gladly do it. The one huge difference is Tim was looking for redemption for himself. I simply suffer when I see others suffer or not living life with abundance, and to take away that suffering I'll do anything.
The movie definitely made me embark on a short reflection trip, especially the line that spoke to me so much: Tim gave his house to Connie Tepos without a single dime in return. In his letter to Connie, he ended it with (paraphrasing) "Don't ask any question. This is my wish. Just honour it. Live life with abundance."
At that moment, my hair stood. My heart silently shouts to me "That's what your Father wants for you. Don't ask why. Just honour it. Live life with abundance." It was as if that line was especially tailored to let me know that. And then I teared even more :P
The movie is perfect lah... but I just don't like the idea of Tim commiting suicide so that others can have the great gift he wanted to give to each name. I think it says comming suicide is Ok if you want to help others (but that is just what I think).
From another angle, I guess the message is very similar to the gospel - Jesus chose to die on the cross, bear all our sins and pain, so that we can all live life with abundance. He could have said 'NO, I won't do it for them' or stopped half-way while being beaten up and chose to just give up and not care for those who do not know him. Jesus chose to give his life up so that WE ALL can live life with abundance. He didn't do it for his own redemption though, he did it for ours.
What do you think the message of the movie was? :) I'd like to know.
25.2.09
What More Could I Want?
I have him. My love life IS perfect.
What more could I want?
He knows all my secrets and sometimes shakes his head at the stuff I giggle at :P
He tells me to turn on the radio when my favourite song is playing and claps his hands with me when I hear it :D
He knows my favourite colour combinations. He wears them almost everyday to show me he cares. It was blue, gray and a tinge of yellow today...plus a rainbow on it. I hope it's purple and some orange tomorrow.
His love for me goes beyond the in-love euphoria. His love is Love, the Choice. It's what makes my world goes round. Without it my whole world stops
His ways of working things out are mysteriously amazing. He is a true professional, or beyond. Adventurous, yet down to earth.
He is more than enough for me. I just need him, and him alone. He is my portion. I have him, I have all I need :)
I have him.
What more could I want?
What more could I want?
He knows all my secrets and sometimes shakes his head at the stuff I giggle at :P
He tells me to turn on the radio when my favourite song is playing and claps his hands with me when I hear it :D
He knows my favourite colour combinations. He wears them almost everyday to show me he cares. It was blue, gray and a tinge of yellow today...plus a rainbow on it. I hope it's purple and some orange tomorrow.
His love for me goes beyond the in-love euphoria. His love is Love, the Choice. It's what makes my world goes round. Without it my whole world stops
His ways of working things out are mysteriously amazing. He is a true professional, or beyond. Adventurous, yet down to earth.
He is more than enough for me. I just need him, and him alone. He is my portion. I have him, I have all I need :)
I have him.
What more could I want?
4.2.09
W.I.L.L.
Allow me to take out my frustration :P
Sorry! I just can't say amen and agree to prayers like these:
God, I pray that you will help me pass my exams. But if it your WILL that I fail, please help me with what comes after...
God, I pray that you will heal this person. But if it's your WILL to take him home, so let it be...
God, I pray that you will bless this business of mine, but if it's your WILL otherwise, let it be done...
I used to pray like that too (and I am ashamed of that). Now I think back and just laugh at how silly I was, and feel bad for having so little faith, bringing God down to my level of faith limited by fears and doubts instead of lifting my situations up to His level.
A friend once said to me in a casual conversation about exams that she prayed just like the above, but when she found out she passed the exam, she praised God. My automatic response
was: "Pray and believe in passing your exams. Next time, take out the failing part, no 'but' and just believe and press in for a pass, with flying colours."
She said: "I just want God's WILL to be done..."
I snapped (sorry about that :P ): "What's God's WILL? His WILL is that He wants us to prosper, it is not part of His plan to harm us in anyway. Do you think He wants you to fail your exams? ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Before I could continue, our conversation was interrupted by something, and it ended there.
Another friend said that she just can't remove the doubt when she prays for healing, and she prayed just like the above...I just had to say something :P which I did, paraphrasing: "Prayers that move mountains are those prayed with absolute faith in the recipient of the prayers. Pray and totally trust God to come through for us in a childlike manner, like how a kid asks his dad to do something knowing and totally believing that it will surely be done, no 'but'".
Yes, we are human beings and we are all still learning to remove doubt in praying. Me too. However, that has got to change! How do you think God feels when He hears prayers like that from the children whom He loves so dearly and sacrificed His only Son for? It's like having a genuine friend you loved walk up to you and say: "I know you love me and only want the best for me. But if you want to give me second best or worse, I accept that too!"...What an insult!
Why do we use God's WILL as an excuse or something to blame on when we didn't put in our best efforts in studies or work, and still want to pass with distinction, knowing we didn't work for it?
Why do we use God's WILL as an escape route from acknowleding how self-insufficient or lazy or not diligent we are and changing ourselves to be better instead? (especially when we want to make God give in to our ways instead of living out His WILL)
Why do we use God's WILL as a cover up for our lack of faith?
Why do we say that God is good all the time and yet accept second best as God's WILL?
*breath*
I use to belittle God too. And He let me know how He felt about that...I don't want you to have to go through that. It's really unpleasant. Let m lesson be yours, minus the painful part :P
Know that His WILL is this - that we shall all be shaped to be in His likeness; that He wants no one to perish, and His plans are to prosper us, not to harm us in any way. This is what He wants - to heal us, to restore, to provide for us, to bless us, love us, care for us, and to give us the BEST! To give us Him. His WILL is what He wants to do in our lives. Get it?
..ok, I think I am less frustrated now. LOL
Sorry! I just can't say amen and agree to prayers like these:
God, I pray that you will help me pass my exams. But if it your WILL that I fail, please help me with what comes after...
God, I pray that you will heal this person. But if it's your WILL to take him home, so let it be...
God, I pray that you will bless this business of mine, but if it's your WILL otherwise, let it be done...
I used to pray like that too (and I am ashamed of that). Now I think back and just laugh at how silly I was, and feel bad for having so little faith, bringing God down to my level of faith limited by fears and doubts instead of lifting my situations up to His level.
A friend once said to me in a casual conversation about exams that she prayed just like the above, but when she found out she passed the exam, she praised God. My automatic response
was: "Pray and believe in passing your exams. Next time, take out the failing part, no 'but' and just believe and press in for a pass, with flying colours."
She said: "I just want God's WILL to be done..."
I snapped (sorry about that :P ): "What's God's WILL? His WILL is that He wants us to prosper, it is not part of His plan to harm us in anyway. Do you think He wants you to fail your exams? ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Before I could continue, our conversation was interrupted by something, and it ended there.
Another friend said that she just can't remove the doubt when she prays for healing, and she prayed just like the above...I just had to say something :P which I did, paraphrasing: "Prayers that move mountains are those prayed with absolute faith in the recipient of the prayers. Pray and totally trust God to come through for us in a childlike manner, like how a kid asks his dad to do something knowing and totally believing that it will surely be done, no 'but'".
Yes, we are human beings and we are all still learning to remove doubt in praying. Me too. However, that has got to change! How do you think God feels when He hears prayers like that from the children whom He loves so dearly and sacrificed His only Son for? It's like having a genuine friend you loved walk up to you and say: "I know you love me and only want the best for me. But if you want to give me second best or worse, I accept that too!"...What an insult!
Why do we use God's WILL as an excuse or something to blame on when we didn't put in our best efforts in studies or work, and still want to pass with distinction, knowing we didn't work for it?
Why do we use God's WILL as an escape route from acknowleding how self-insufficient or lazy or not diligent we are and changing ourselves to be better instead? (especially when we want to make God give in to our ways instead of living out His WILL)
Why do we use God's WILL as a cover up for our lack of faith?
Why do we say that God is good all the time and yet accept second best as God's WILL?
*breath*
I use to belittle God too. And He let me know how He felt about that...I don't want you to have to go through that. It's really unpleasant. Let m lesson be yours, minus the painful part :P
Know that His WILL is this - that we shall all be shaped to be in His likeness; that He wants no one to perish, and His plans are to prosper us, not to harm us in any way. This is what He wants - to heal us, to restore, to provide for us, to bless us, love us, care for us, and to give us the BEST! To give us Him. His WILL is what He wants to do in our lives. Get it?
..ok, I think I am less frustrated now. LOL
3.2.09
How come?
How come lah?
How come there is only Tabung Palestine but no Tabung Israel?
That's like making the statement "I sure think that Israel's attacks are inhumane, and therefore I won't help them. They don't deserve it!"
Hey, when you are grieving, broken, hopeless, sad or hurt, don't ya wish someone would help you? I would!
Close you eyes and imagine this (here comes the Matthew McConaughey scene LOL):
You've been robbed and hurt. You're lying by the side of the road. The robbers left you there to bleed to death after having violated you in everyway. You're praying very hard for someone to come save you or help you. Suddenly you hear footsteps coming closer and closer to you. They stopped. You look up at a stranger, who stares back and said "I am not going to lend a hand because you have sinned and don't deserve my help", and he walks away, leaving you to bleed to death, just like the robbers.
C'mon. We have all sinned and fall short. If you say you never did ONE thing wrong in your entire life or something against your conscience, you're a liar. If you are cursing the stranger in the hypothetical situation above, congrats, you are cursing yourself.
I am totally against the atrocities in Gaza now too. I am! But having just Tabung Palestine and not Tabung Israel is equally inhumane. Innocent people die in Israel too.
I am learing to hate the sin and love the sinner. Why don't you do the same? Don't be so biased.
How come there is only Tabung Palestine but no Tabung Israel?
That's like making the statement "I sure think that Israel's attacks are inhumane, and therefore I won't help them. They don't deserve it!"
Hey, when you are grieving, broken, hopeless, sad or hurt, don't ya wish someone would help you? I would!
Close you eyes and imagine this (here comes the Matthew McConaughey scene LOL):
You've been robbed and hurt. You're lying by the side of the road. The robbers left you there to bleed to death after having violated you in everyway. You're praying very hard for someone to come save you or help you. Suddenly you hear footsteps coming closer and closer to you. They stopped. You look up at a stranger, who stares back and said "I am not going to lend a hand because you have sinned and don't deserve my help", and he walks away, leaving you to bleed to death, just like the robbers.
C'mon. We have all sinned and fall short. If you say you never did ONE thing wrong in your entire life or something against your conscience, you're a liar. If you are cursing the stranger in the hypothetical situation above, congrats, you are cursing yourself.
I am totally against the atrocities in Gaza now too. I am! But having just Tabung Palestine and not Tabung Israel is equally inhumane. Innocent people die in Israel too.
I am learing to hate the sin and love the sinner. Why don't you do the same? Don't be so biased.
25.1.09
Fill It Up
Proverbs 8:35-36: For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favour from the Lord; but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death.
2 Corinthians 2:15-16: For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance of life to life.
Psalm 19:7: The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
My car was low on petrol, so I filled it up at Petronas near my house. After my car had it's "meal", filled up for the next 550-600 km, I headed to my next destination and came to a halt at a red light. I took a deep breath, taking in a whole lot of air and the smell of petrol, then came this revelation: cars always smell of petrol right after they are filled up and the smell fades off gradually...until the nest time they are filled up with petrol again.
...Just like how we smell like 'mamak' after we had banana leaf or roti banana at a mamak shop.
...Just like how we smell like God after we have our date or hangout with Him, getting filled up with more of Him :)
A friend once told me that he could smell the stench of someone's soul that's dead, and according to him, it really stinks. Talk about advance sense of smell! Personally, I don't want to smell death, I'm afraid I will puke :(
This world is polluted by the stench of death. If there was a perfume that can cover up the stench, I bet many would die to buy it. But it would have been temporary, and the bad news is there isn't any.
However, there is one good news - we are all offered free flow of life (that's the opposite of death is you haven't know this :P ) that can revive the parts in us that are dead and take away (not just cover up) the stench of death! Yipee!!
To start smelling sweet like life, we do what we do to our cars with petrol - fill it up. Find life itself and start filling up. Fill life and get life. Fill death, and you'll get death.
On days I dated Mr. J, I feel invincible (giggles). And when I connect with others, the aroma of Mr. J passes on to them. His joy, love, enthusiasm, hope and excitement about things in life are contagious! But on days I didn't date Mr. J, I am the old wicked witch, and I smell like her too! I will snap at the smallest things. I'll worry til a pimple pop, and blame everyone for the teh tarik being too sweet (Ok, I may have exaggerated, but you get the point...and Fudge can testify to this [Sorry Fudge for my crappiness!])
Being filled up with life is very liberating. But the smell fades of gradually as we allow things of this world to come in contact with us. Perfumes don't last forver too. When cars run dry, it's serious damage! It is so important to get filled up constantly so we don't run dry. Even better, stretch our capacity to be filled with Him more and more so that we can be filled with more and smell even more like Him! Wow.
I am definitely setting time apart to get filled with Mr. J today because He is after all the most romantic person in the whole wide universe. I want to smell like freedom, joy, love, faith, hope, peace and Him.
What about you?
2 Corinthians 2:15-16: For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance of life to life.
Psalm 19:7: The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
My car was low on petrol, so I filled it up at Petronas near my house. After my car had it's "meal", filled up for the next 550-600 km, I headed to my next destination and came to a halt at a red light. I took a deep breath, taking in a whole lot of air and the smell of petrol, then came this revelation: cars always smell of petrol right after they are filled up and the smell fades off gradually...until the nest time they are filled up with petrol again.
...Just like how we smell like 'mamak' after we had banana leaf or roti banana at a mamak shop.
...Just like how we smell like God after we have our date or hangout with Him, getting filled up with more of Him :)
A friend once told me that he could smell the stench of someone's soul that's dead, and according to him, it really stinks. Talk about advance sense of smell! Personally, I don't want to smell death, I'm afraid I will puke :(
This world is polluted by the stench of death. If there was a perfume that can cover up the stench, I bet many would die to buy it. But it would have been temporary, and the bad news is there isn't any.
However, there is one good news - we are all offered free flow of life (that's the opposite of death is you haven't know this :P ) that can revive the parts in us that are dead and take away (not just cover up) the stench of death! Yipee!!
To start smelling sweet like life, we do what we do to our cars with petrol - fill it up. Find life itself and start filling up. Fill life and get life. Fill death, and you'll get death.
On days I dated Mr. J, I feel invincible (giggles). And when I connect with others, the aroma of Mr. J passes on to them. His joy, love, enthusiasm, hope and excitement about things in life are contagious! But on days I didn't date Mr. J, I am the old wicked witch, and I smell like her too! I will snap at the smallest things. I'll worry til a pimple pop, and blame everyone for the teh tarik being too sweet (Ok, I may have exaggerated, but you get the point...and Fudge can testify to this [Sorry Fudge for my crappiness!])
Being filled up with life is very liberating. But the smell fades of gradually as we allow things of this world to come in contact with us. Perfumes don't last forver too. When cars run dry, it's serious damage! It is so important to get filled up constantly so we don't run dry. Even better, stretch our capacity to be filled with Him more and more so that we can be filled with more and smell even more like Him! Wow.
I am definitely setting time apart to get filled with Mr. J today because He is after all the most romantic person in the whole wide universe. I want to smell like freedom, joy, love, faith, hope, peace and Him.
What about you?
24.1.09
Out Of The Ordinary
Today is the one day in my entire life (so far) that is really intriguing. I've never had a day that has so many out of the ordinary incidents or things. I guess it means I need to come home more often :P hahaha.
Out of the ordinary incidents in chronological order on 24th January 2009 in Sin Yee's not-so-ordinary life:
1. A car crash on the NSE highway involving eleven cars in a row.
2. How beautiful Kuala Kangsar is (something I have forgotten, tsk tsk tsk)
3. How slow people in Kuala Kangsar drive (something I must get use to in this week)
4. Myriad of hampers of all shapes and heights standing all over the living room (my parents are really well-known here, I suppose?)
5. Aromac - the shower head that gives smell to your shower, haha. It's really cool.
6. Fighting with my lil cousin to play his PSP on our drive home
7. Taking a really loooooooooooong ride home. I think my butt is injured from sitting in the car for too long
8. Traffic jam in Kuala Kangsar town
9. Five new framed photos of my brother in mortar board and robe, and my long call on the living room hall, including the one in my granma's house
10. Granma's dyed light brown hair (whoa! I totally love my granma :) )
I certainly miss my hometown very very much. I definitely need to be back more often although my heart belongs elsewhere...
Happy Chinese New Year!
Out of the ordinary incidents in chronological order on 24th January 2009 in Sin Yee's not-so-ordinary life:
1. A car crash on the NSE highway involving eleven cars in a row.
2. How beautiful Kuala Kangsar is (something I have forgotten, tsk tsk tsk)
3. How slow people in Kuala Kangsar drive (something I must get use to in this week)
4. Myriad of hampers of all shapes and heights standing all over the living room (my parents are really well-known here, I suppose?)
5. Aromac - the shower head that gives smell to your shower, haha. It's really cool.
6. Fighting with my lil cousin to play his PSP on our drive home
7. Taking a really loooooooooooong ride home. I think my butt is injured from sitting in the car for too long
8. Traffic jam in Kuala Kangsar town
9. Five new framed photos of my brother in mortar board and robe, and my long call on the living room hall, including the one in my granma's house
10. Granma's dyed light brown hair (whoa! I totally love my granma :) )
I certainly miss my hometown very very much. I definitely need to be back more often although my heart belongs elsewhere...
Happy Chinese New Year!
12.1.09
Those Were The Days...
We agreed that it was too long since we last met. Since Doctor Goh E-Bay is back from Aberdeen for 2 weeks, we finalised one gathering finally. The place was La Bodega, Bangsar. Doctor Goh, Tunku, En En, Miss Banker, 'Roslina' and Ah Sin were there. Au Yong and Kit Kat couldn't make it, so was Gaurus (we suspected that replacement class was the reason).
We had a great time! Our table was undoubtedly the noisiest one tonight. Our laughters were probably heard downstairs. It was like this 10 years ago, and it still is like this now. How nice :) We even predicted who's the next to get married (LOL). Catching up with old friends and sisters who were such an important part of my life, and laughing our heads off to the comedy in our lives, is something I will always cherish and keep in my heart.
Of course, like every other gathering we had after we all retired from check-weight-everyday-sport, we recalled the stupidest, craziest and the best moments we had together as teammates more than a decade ago, not forgetting the people who changed our lives whom we now dearly miss...including that skinny Uncle Lee, our bus driver for more than 6 months in 1995.
As always, blur Doctor Goh turned to me and said 'You were my only classmate last time during primary school here tonight.'
'I wasn't your classmate.' Ah Sin gave a puzzled look to Doctor Goh and was returned with a confused look on Doctor Goh's face.
'You were in CBN, I was in Kuen Cheng.'
'Eh! Sorry!' Doctor Goh said while turning to En En, 'You were the one!'
And we all laughed at Doctor Goh's blurness, as always :D
And then it hit me. Not all of us here could recall all the moments we had then (which I wouldn't trade for anything). If they were not recorded, one day, some of those precious memories will be gone. GASP! So, I decided to put some of those craziest moments that I can think of now here:
Those were the days :) Thank God for all that! Or else I will be an antisocial-bitter-bookworm teaching in a school back in my hometown now and not having LIVED 14 years of my life. Oh God, thank You!
We had a great time! Our table was undoubtedly the noisiest one tonight. Our laughters were probably heard downstairs. It was like this 10 years ago, and it still is like this now. How nice :) We even predicted who's the next to get married (LOL). Catching up with old friends and sisters who were such an important part of my life, and laughing our heads off to the comedy in our lives, is something I will always cherish and keep in my heart.
Of course, like every other gathering we had after we all retired from check-weight-everyday-sport, we recalled the stupidest, craziest and the best moments we had together as teammates more than a decade ago, not forgetting the people who changed our lives whom we now dearly miss...including that skinny Uncle Lee, our bus driver for more than 6 months in 1995.
As always, blur Doctor Goh turned to me and said 'You were my only classmate last time during primary school here tonight.'
'I wasn't your classmate.' Ah Sin gave a puzzled look to Doctor Goh and was returned with a confused look on Doctor Goh's face.
'You were in CBN, I was in Kuen Cheng.'
'Eh! Sorry!' Doctor Goh said while turning to En En, 'You were the one!'
And we all laughed at Doctor Goh's blurness, as always :D
And then it hit me. Not all of us here could recall all the moments we had then (which I wouldn't trade for anything). If they were not recorded, one day, some of those precious memories will be gone. GASP! So, I decided to put some of those craziest moments that I can think of now here:
- Throwing our slippers 4 floors up and breaking Mun Yee's room window with one slipper thrown by the 'professional' during prep.
- Writing this in our autograph books: "What do I hate - boys" (HAHAHAHA)
- Being the only ones who could slip through the tiniest gap in the school gate to buy food from the kantin.
- Karaoke-ing our lungs out to Paeda-Rap, Michael Jackson's, Always, Zombie, 25 Minutes and other Indian songs from Priya's cassette on the bus on our way back to Endah Condo.
- Doing needle scales and splits on a moving bus.
- Making Twister mat with coloured school exercise books just so that we can play Twister in our dorm when we were supposed to be in class (I'm not so proud of this somehow, HAHAHA. Kids.... GO TO SCHOOL!)
- Almost going to sleep at the closed LRT station because the school hostel gate was locked after 11pm and we couldn't sneak back in after yum-cha-ing at 3 a.m.
- Putting up Beauty & The Beast, Phantom of the Opera and Pocahontas musical shows in our condo's.
- Everyone climbing over the girls hostel main gate at 10 something p.m. only to have the last person open the gate and said 'Hey, it's not locked!' (Darn it! HAHAHA)
- Yogurt eating competition in Uzbek.
- Begging Manan to lock the doors at our training hall and disappear for 10 minutes just so that we start training late (KEKEKEKE)
- Removing the batteries of the weighing machine in the training hall.
- Playing Chi-Ku-Pang with Cikgu Chew on the bus all the way from KL to Taiping.
Those were the days :) Thank God for all that! Or else I will be an antisocial-bitter-bookworm teaching in a school back in my hometown now and not having LIVED 14 years of my life. Oh God, thank You!
8.1.09
Funeral Crashers
If there is a horror story that scares me, this is it.
In our chit chat after gobbling down some yummy cheese chicken at Salmon Steak, we somehow end up on the topic of funerals in a country far far away (don't ask me how, but we started on politics :-S ).
The horror of the story is not about a dead man leaping out from his coffin and chewing people up or the coffin suddenly floated in the air. The horror that scared me was the people who attend funerals in this country far far away.
Both my friends from this country far far away said to me that people in their country treat funerals like 'kenduri's'. They see a funeral, off they go for some free food, even if they don't know who's the deceased who is of course, unrelated to these people (lets just name them Funeral Crashers).
On the table when they are eating, they just eat and be merry like they were in a pub. They don't even care about who lies in the coffin! What's worse is that they expect the host of the funeral to serve Grade A food. If not, they will make a huge fuss out of it. I don't even have to say what will happen if you don't serve them food. You can imagine it yourself.
So the sister of one of this friend of mine from this country far far away once spoke against these Funeral Crashers in their grandfather's funeral. She got into trouble for it. (GASP!)
Just listening to the story makes me furious :(
"Why don't anyone do something about that? Why don't you guys just don't serve food at funerals?" I asked in my upset tone. "We are used to it already." Friend from this country far far away said.
HELLO? Just because things are they way the are doesn't mean that's the way they should be! Talk about sikap tidak apa... sigh...
But then again, it is a very important principle that we should honour our guests in functions or funerals, whether we know them personally or not. However, I still find the Funeral Crashers' attitude a stink. C'mon you guys... have a heart!
Let me warn you... don't crash at my funeral, or I will haunt you for life.
... gee, scary heh?
In our chit chat after gobbling down some yummy cheese chicken at Salmon Steak, we somehow end up on the topic of funerals in a country far far away (don't ask me how, but we started on politics :-S ).
The horror of the story is not about a dead man leaping out from his coffin and chewing people up or the coffin suddenly floated in the air. The horror that scared me was the people who attend funerals in this country far far away.
Both my friends from this country far far away said to me that people in their country treat funerals like 'kenduri's'. They see a funeral, off they go for some free food, even if they don't know who's the deceased who is of course, unrelated to these people (lets just name them Funeral Crashers).
On the table when they are eating, they just eat and be merry like they were in a pub. They don't even care about who lies in the coffin! What's worse is that they expect the host of the funeral to serve Grade A food. If not, they will make a huge fuss out of it. I don't even have to say what will happen if you don't serve them food. You can imagine it yourself.
So the sister of one of this friend of mine from this country far far away once spoke against these Funeral Crashers in their grandfather's funeral. She got into trouble for it. (GASP!)
Just listening to the story makes me furious :(
"Why don't anyone do something about that? Why don't you guys just don't serve food at funerals?" I asked in my upset tone. "We are used to it already." Friend from this country far far away said.
HELLO? Just because things are they way the are doesn't mean that's the way they should be! Talk about sikap tidak apa... sigh...
But then again, it is a very important principle that we should honour our guests in functions or funerals, whether we know them personally or not. However, I still find the Funeral Crashers' attitude a stink. C'mon you guys... have a heart!
Let me warn you... don't crash at my funeral, or I will haunt you for life.
... gee, scary heh?
3.1.09
Heart Break = Car Accident
~Reflection of the past~
Heart breaks. They are inevitable (Luke 17:1). They make status quo messy and make mess messier. They are hard to face. Don't fool yourself by saying "I'm fine." Get real babe! It is never easy.
You must be thinking how it doesn't make sense - why did God make healing so hard if He is really so good and our Jehovah Rapha?
Well, lets just say heart breaks are like car accidents. Nobody wanted them to happen. They are unexpected. But they happen anyway, whether it was a romantic relationship, a family issue or just a friendship.
When car accidents happen, the damage to the car, no matter how minimal, can never be repaired in one quick fix. It takes more than one step to get the wrecked car repaired. Even a small dent! One cannot knock the dent back to its normal shape AND spray paint the dent spot at the same time. The spray paint would be uneven. The knocking comes first, and then the spraying. If the damage is done to the engine, oh boy, you can imagine how many complicated steps it would take to get it repaired. The bottom line is this - reparation and restoration of a heart broken into a thousand pieces don't happen overnight. Healing can never be complete overnight. It takes stages of acknowledgment of brokenness and surrender to God for Him to fix our hearts together in one piece again.
But why not do it all at one fix if He is really the Almighty God?
I remember how I thought I was healed from my breakup with Teng Yung only to find myself hurting even more when I discovered that he was going out with someone else. What's worse? He's happy with her. Knowing that is like pouring kerosine onto the fervent fire that was already burning me to death slowly. Wasn't I supposed to be healed? Did God ignore the broken heart I surrendered to Him?
Yes, He did. I was the one who stopped taking His prescription until full recovery. I stopped surrendering all the parts of my broken heart left unattended to into His healing hands. i held on to some. I did not let go. I held on... so opposite to 1 Peter 5:7.
God knows better (Thank God someone does!). Sometimes we're just not ready for everything in one big dose. Even medicine for fever must be taken in stages of separate doses. It works the same way for heart breaks. God waits until we regain our strength from the bad fall, and then He will tackle the issues which we are now ready to deal with. He knows how to care for our wrecked hearts because He made us. We can never truly comprehend how He works to heal us (Isaiah 55:8, Proverbs 3:5-6). But the truth is He does heal us.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
Just take it step by step. It's not easy, but it is possible ;) - For nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).
Don't rush healing :)
God bless!
Heart breaks. They are inevitable (Luke 17:1). They make status quo messy and make mess messier. They are hard to face. Don't fool yourself by saying "I'm fine." Get real babe! It is never easy.
You must be thinking how it doesn't make sense - why did God make healing so hard if He is really so good and our Jehovah Rapha?
Well, lets just say heart breaks are like car accidents. Nobody wanted them to happen. They are unexpected. But they happen anyway, whether it was a romantic relationship, a family issue or just a friendship.
When car accidents happen, the damage to the car, no matter how minimal, can never be repaired in one quick fix. It takes more than one step to get the wrecked car repaired. Even a small dent! One cannot knock the dent back to its normal shape AND spray paint the dent spot at the same time. The spray paint would be uneven. The knocking comes first, and then the spraying. If the damage is done to the engine, oh boy, you can imagine how many complicated steps it would take to get it repaired. The bottom line is this - reparation and restoration of a heart broken into a thousand pieces don't happen overnight. Healing can never be complete overnight. It takes stages of acknowledgment of brokenness and surrender to God for Him to fix our hearts together in one piece again.
But why not do it all at one fix if He is really the Almighty God?
I remember how I thought I was healed from my breakup with Teng Yung only to find myself hurting even more when I discovered that he was going out with someone else. What's worse? He's happy with her. Knowing that is like pouring kerosine onto the fervent fire that was already burning me to death slowly. Wasn't I supposed to be healed? Did God ignore the broken heart I surrendered to Him?
Yes, He did. I was the one who stopped taking His prescription until full recovery. I stopped surrendering all the parts of my broken heart left unattended to into His healing hands. i held on to some. I did not let go. I held on... so opposite to 1 Peter 5:7.
God knows better (Thank God someone does!). Sometimes we're just not ready for everything in one big dose. Even medicine for fever must be taken in stages of separate doses. It works the same way for heart breaks. God waits until we regain our strength from the bad fall, and then He will tackle the issues which we are now ready to deal with. He knows how to care for our wrecked hearts because He made us. We can never truly comprehend how He works to heal us (Isaiah 55:8, Proverbs 3:5-6). But the truth is He does heal us.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
Just take it step by step. It's not easy, but it is possible ;) - For nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).
Don't rush healing :)
God bless!
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