The reality.

Sometimes, we are denials. We try our very best to deny some things that we cannot accept in this world. It only caused us more misery and pain that we cannot explain. Just like mysef, used to deny that the world is a horrible place full of violence and corruption, evil and vice. But in the end, I only put myself into misery and the rage in my heart escalated higher and higher each time I am reminded of these ugly world.

That, some of you say, is the reality.

Yes, you are right. That is the reality. In the real world, only the small fish get caught in the high profile crimes while the big fish are fearlessly reaping their filthy wealth from exploiting the small fish. In the real world, crooks continue to rape thier own children without minding the consequences to the children's life. In the real world, selfish people are doing all they can to survive even if it costs their loved ones a big deal. In the real world... so much evil and injustice... every corner... every second.

Eat your own words if you cannot accept that. That is the reality. Accept it, huh?

You gotta admit that no matter how positively you tried to view things, ultimately, the real negative side remains in your mind, or even worse, in your heart. And no matter what you do, these evil continues. Can you live with that?

Yes, let me repeat what you said to me: THAT'S THE REALITY. ACCEPT IT.

Many times in my years of study of law (and continuing), I questioned myself hard: Why am I studying so hard if in the end when I become the lawyer things won't be any different? The law will continue to be exploited and misused. People will still ignore their rights and disregard the law. I am trapped between what I expect the law should do after long-hard years of studying and what will eventually happen. Just like Light in Death Note. I feel like throwing my law books away because the real crooks get away, anyway.

Light had the means to avenge the real crooks with the Death Note. I wish I could access to something that ensures REAL justice like Light. But first, I gotta accept the reality i.e. in this real world, there is no REAL justice. No laws on this earth can be perfect.

Step 1 - Check. I accepted the reality.
Step 2 - Seek access to means which provides REAL justice.

Hmmm..now that is hard. I can't find anything in this world that fulfills that requirement. Can you? Perhaps we should look elsewhere... Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

I have to accept the reality that the world is full of evil, that life can be unfair, that nothing is perfect in this world, and nothing can provide REAL justice here in this place because like I said, that is the reality. The discontent in me led to me to seek for something REAL, something or someone REAL, that can comfort me in the midst of all the evil in this world by providing REAL justice. I couldn't find it here in this place, but I found it in Him, alone... Psalm 1:6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

I am not God. Therefore I cannot change the world or ensure REAL justice by myself. But I can do a small part by being one of the tools used by Him for His purpose. The reality is only God can provide real justice. Accept it. That is the reality.

God bless you always and forever.

The burden in my heart to post this has been lifted off..phew!!

Year-End Post

The Lord has blessed me abundantly in ways that no other can replace. I thank Him for His mercies have kept me freom being consumed. No one can satisfy besides my Saviour, and this post records some of the blessings that He bestowed upon me in 2006.

1. He provided a cloud over me as I walked to church so that I will not be scorched.
2. He provided a cab just 3 seconds after I prayed for one to go home.
3. When I felt like I lost Him, He mercifully returned to my side.
4. He said, "I have never left you."
5. Financial blessings to further my studies in KL.
6. He provided shelter to me in KL.
7. By His plan, a spiritual friend was introduced to me on a bus ride back to Penang.
8. The salvation of a primary school friend with whom I have lost touch for many years.
9. His guidance.
10. 6 consecutive green lights on my way to fetch my aunt so that I could beat the jam.
11. The rain that cools my room.
12. The sun that dry my clothes.
13. Food for my stomach and soul.
14. The right timing for all things that happen in my life.
15. His faithfulness and love for me in times of trial.
16. Wonderful and loving siblings in Christ.
17. He revealed to me how amazing heaven is going to be.
18. Financial blessings and blessings in other forms to bless others.
19. A roommate whose faith in Jesus that was shaken badly by a painful experience in life. Through living with her, He taught me how to share the good news.
20. His protection over me wherever I go.
21. Good health.
22. Journey-mercies.
23. According to His plan: bumping into many old friends so that I can catch up with them after all those years.
24. An understanding family.
25. An awesome grandmother who loves me very much.
26. The boy who willingly borrowed me his handphone so that I could make a call to TY when my phone's battery went flat.
27. Everyone I met at SWEEP.
28. The good times at SWEEP.
29. The experience of having no place to go to and no food to eat. Poverty taught me so much about God's heart for the needy.
30. 2nd Upper.
31. New handphone :P
32. A dress (finally!!) hehe.
33. Not burning down the kitchen when I cooked dinner.
34. He provided an opprtunity for me to serve in church.
35. He prepared my heart to accept some things and went ahead of me to make sure the road is on that I can walk.
36. A wonderful landlady.
37. A class with over 300 students. My attentiveness in class has increased tremendously because of this, thanks to God.

And the list goes on. But I will end here for this post. I guess if I continued, I would not be able to sleep until the morning of the 1 January 2007.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2007!!